ye olde blog

This blog has moved.

2010-04-22T16:31:00.000-07:00

I will from now on be posting here.

Sorry if this is inconvenient for any of you (You can still follow me via Blogger on my new Wordpress page)..... this is a step to a) make my blog more readable and "grownup," and b) to increase the convenience of my internet-stuff (now I can do everything through my Hootsuite).

Thanks and I hope to continue having conversations with you over at the new site!

i repent

2010-02-27T21:13:00.000-08:00

{Video below on Youtube, only version of song I could find online (for free, of course). Coffeehouse version of original, which is sung by the inalienable Derek Webb:}

i repent, i repent of my pursuit of america's dream
i repent, i repent of living like i deserve anything
of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife
in our suburb where we're safe and white
i am wrong and of these things i repent

i repent, i repent of parading my liberty
i repent. i repent of paying for what i get for free
and for the way i believe that i am living right
by trading sins for others that are easier to hide
i am wrong and of these things i repent

i repent judging by a law that even i can't keep
of wearing righteousness like a disguise
to see through the planks in my own eyes

i repent, i repent of trading truth for false unity
i repent, i repent of confusing peace and idolatry
by caring more of what they think than what i know of what we need
by domesticating you until you look just like me
i am wrong and of these things i repent

Video and thoughts on Haiti, from those who truly know.

2010-01-18T13:01:00.000-08:00

Within hours of hearing about the Haiti quake last week, I was amazed and mortified to learn that the president of the RCA (my church family)'s General Synod (our big annual gathering), James Seawood, was in Haiti at the time of the quake, scheduled to be in Port-au-Prince at the time, alongside an entire delegation of RCA lay and ordained leaders. (I had the privilege of meeting and conversing with Rev. Seawood just before the Synod meeting last year, after he had met with the Seminarian Seminar of which I was a part. I believe I also met there Rev. Andres Serrano, a Dominican pastor who was also part of the Haitian delegation.) Soon word got out that the delegation had survived and had made its way to the Dominican Republic, and was en route to return to the U.S.

The RCA has posted video and thoughts from Rev. Seawood accessible from their main web page... he had taken video footage just moments after the quake... it is remarkable footage of the confusion, fear, and anguish that survivors felt in those initial moments... and it also places you into the shoes of the delegation as they struggle to try to find a route amidst the chaos.

Moments after Haiti Earthquake from Phil Tanis on Vimeo.

Read his reflections on the entire ordeal here, also found on the RCA website. Amazing stuff.

Wyclef Jean, one of the world's most famous Haitians, has an organization called Yele Haiti through which he has long been trying to provide hope and healing to a nation devastated by poverty. Now devastated by the erratic and inexplicable forces of nature (no, NOT by a curse, Mr. Robertson...), Yele Haiti and Wyclef are leading a public charge to take necessary action to bring hope and healing yet again.

Earlier today Wyclef hosted a live press conference... it's being recast right now, and they might play it a few more times, so see if you can catch at least pieces of it....

"This is the only time people are going to see my country"

"We (Yele Haiti) has always been on the ground..."....

"There's a problem that we have to solve...in the next few days... the security issue amongst the people... where the communities are hostile because of the (lack of) food... so on Saturday...we'll be leaving again for Haiti....the reality is that you have at least 400,000 people underground ..... for every success story that you see, there are another 40,000 that are buried..."

He calls for a massive exodus outside of Port-au-Prince, to facilitate the cleaning process of the city and to take care of the people... and calls for another countries to help lead this, and to provide tents that will eventually develop into new, 21st-century communities... fascinating stuff.

Sojourners' blog today features a post from Kent Annan, co-director of Haiti Partners--another organization committed to helping Haiti for years, and has lived for many years himself in Haiti. He addresses the feeling that many of us have... "Why Haiti? Why a country already devastatingly poor?, suffering for years already...." He even references the psalmist who famously addresses this sentiment with the words, "How long, oh Lord?"

His response to this is both difficult and wise-- we (as those who do NOT know what it is like to be there, to be from there, or to have lived there) would do well to hear it:

"Finally, I’ve been asked often, when working in Haiti and then during these past few days, how do you keep any hope? My answer, which is burrowed deep in my bones through the privilege of living with, being friends with, watching the courage of, and working alongside many Haitians, is that if they haven’t given up hope, we have no right to. Today I saw on CNN Haitians walking the streets of Port-au-Prince singing hymns and praying.

We’re people committed to be on the side of God’s hope, even on seemingly hopeless days. We’re people committed to be on the side of people in Haiti–not just right now, but for the longterm. "

Ways to spread the hope:

1) Text donations: Text YELE to 501501 to donate $5 to Yele Haiti
Text HAITI to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross
(no, neither of these are scams.)
2) Donate:
-to Red Cross
-UNICEF
-World Vision
-To Reformed Church World Service

3) Make medical and hygiene kits and submit them to the RCWS. Find a guide on how to make them here. Right now relief and life-saving are still the focus, and water and medical supplies are among the biggest needs... but as Annan reminds us, we also need to think about how we can CONTINUE to help Haiti head towards recovery in the months and years ahead... so let's not forget about them. Just as people in Louisiana are still recovering from Katrina in many instances, so it will be in Haiti, only on a much larger scale.

Look what I found!

2010-01-08T12:12:00.000-08:00

From awkwardfamilyphotos.com. Found this on a local news site.

Be in a room where you won't be embarrassed if someone hears you laughing uncontrollably, mixed in with a good number of "ews," "WHATs???," and "You gotta be kidding mes!!!"

I can think of one or two childhood photos that would qualify for this site, I think....

View at your own risk. Eat no more than a light lunch prior to viewing, and wait at least 30 minutes.

our whirlwind oahu tour. Now in kauai.

2009-12-28T10:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we arrived in Hawaii for a family vacation in Kauai with the in-laws!.... we had about 5 hours to kill during a layover in Oahu and we, Amy and I, the world adventurers that we are, decided to not spend that time sitting in the airport, but instead to rent a car and see as much of Oahu as we could!

'Iolani Palace in Honolulu

Well, a whirlwind tour wasn't exactly our plan to begin with... the plan was to see this, the 'Iolani palace... and we did, as you can see.... from the outside. Closed on Sunday.... along with most of the downtown area of Honolulu. (Should've gone to Wakiki.)

Us world travelers, who travel sans map nor GPS nor compass, had no idea what to do from here... luckily we randomly stumbled upon the Aloha Tower area by the wharf... and enjoyed heat-lamped pizza overlooking the shipyard. Smartly, we picked up a map at this point. Not-so-smartly, we picked up a surfing map.... which tended to leave out minor details, such as street names... and added little things also, such as nonexistent roads.

Hananuma Bay

We decided at this point to throw caution to the wind, and to drive around the entire peninsula to the east of Honolulu .... This was our whirlwind tour of Hanamuna Bay pictured here.... we paid a buck to get into the parking, parked illegally on the side of the lot, ran to as close as we could get to the bay without paying out the eye sockets, and took the above pic.

The plan to drive around the peninsula, however, was soon thwarted, as we discovered that the road that's on the map that loops around and connects back with the interstate, doesn't exist. Yes, I know it looks like a major road on the Google map, but trust us. It's not there. It's all cliffs on one side, ocean on the other. Beautiful, but not about to help us get back to our plane on time, which was taking off in 90 minutes. Yes, and we're on what seems like the other side on Oahu. With no clue where we are and a deceptive map.

We decided to backtrack, and Amy and I pulled together, combining our skills of acute observation, and impulsive improvisation... and found a route back. Somehow, we made it back to the airport with an hour to spare.... and then my lovely wife managed to lose her purse.

Yes, in the haste of not wanting to miss our flight, Amy left her purse somewhere, either in the rental car, or the shuttle, or somewhere. After a series of unsuccessful calls and even with Amy jumping back on the shuttle to go back to the rental car place (all the while the clock is ticking), we were SOL. Thankfully Amy had her passport in her bag, so she still could board. But then Amy, after having gone through security, suddenly conjures up the bright idea to call her Blackberry from her mom's phone. And a nice National car rental man, furiously trying to find Amy in the airport, answered, and sent the purse through security. 40 minutes before the flight, and the Amy-Josh duo, purse and all, were safely on their way to Kauai, along with the rest of the Lunde clan.

The takeaways here?..... 1) ALWAYS have alternate ID available. 2) All roads in Hawaii eventually lead to where you need to go... but 3) Don't trust the surfing maps. And finally, 4) Amy and I took another step in learning how to trust and lean on each other in times of crisis. It's my belief that "mini-crises" like this one, that pale in comparison to the grand scheme of life, are training for the real crises that we will undoubtedly face at some point.

Now in Kauai. Hoping for a more relaxed pace on this island.

herd mentalities.

2009-12-21T08:45:00.000-08:00

Article: 300 Reindeer die tragically in Sweden

No, this isn't the beginning of a sick joke. It actually happened. Apparently the reindeer, herded by members of the indigenous Sami people, were making a biannual crossing over a frozen waterway and for some reason, the lead reindeer turned around. It sparked a wave a confusion from the herd. As one official said, "the herd started to run in circles on the ice...Pressure increased so much that the ice broke."

What's more is that despite the near-holy status of reindeer to the Samis, a Norwegian energy company "offered" to use the near 300 reindeer carcasses to produce biofuel... a sensible, environmentally-friendly and responsible solution to the modern mind, but to the Sami mind, it is cold, heartless, and disrespectful.

Not sure why I was fascinated by this article today. Maybe b/c reindeer (the real ones, not the flying ones) seem like pretty amazing creatures. Maybe b/c it highlights the tensions between modern and pre-modern sensibilites, and challenges us to consider what the ethical response is in this situation...

Actually, risking insensitivity to the situation, I think I'm fascinated with herd behavior... and the different ways of looking at the same story....

Some might read this story and think, "Wow! If only the lead reindeer did not get mixed up, then all the others would not have become so confused, and the ice never would have broke." From a simplistic perspective, the lead reindeer is the easy one to blame.

Or, you can perhaps wonder what spooked the lead reindeer in the first place... what was it that made her/him turn around? What fear was provoked? Fear of the unknown? Hearing a family member call for help in the back and trying to respond? Or, maybe the lead reindeer's actions were misinterpreted by the rest of the herd... He just needed to scratch his leg, and everyone else thought he was signaling the end of the world.

Maybe the lead reindeer did get spooked.... then in that case, why didn't the reindeer continue to trust the herders that were leading them? They had led them through treacherous ground safely thus far....

Then, the thought of how quickly a little confusion became utter chaos is also fascinating... how one's actions (or their misinterpretations of them) ripples through the crowd until it becomes a massive wave, uncontrollable and unstoppable... and eventually leads to profound loss.

And of course, then there are the fuel producers...responsible that they "may" be, yet also appear poised to jump in and profit from the tragedy... It's almost as if they were lying in waiting to profit from the herd's self-destruction.

I guess it might be strange to gather all of this from just a simple article about drowning reindeer. Then again, perhaps the behavior of reindeer, and the people around them, aren't just restricted to their little corner of the animal kingdom.

claus or not?

2009-12-16T10:49:00.000-08:00

New blog post on Relevant re: Santa

I've had some interesting discussions with my wife lately about the whole Santa Claus thing--- whether or not to tell your children that there is a magical guy that flies around once a year, bouncing from rooftop to rooftop, sneaking into people's houses via chimney and WD-40.

This article is from a Christian perspective; as a Christian I tend towards thinking the whole Santa thing is a bad idea to begin with. I know that makes me a big fat killjoy (it wouldn't be the first time), but the reason has nothing to do with a sense that Santa is not the "reason for the season" or distracts from Jesus....

My main issue is teaching a child that something is real, and then saying it's not. The guy in the article argues that teaching about mystery is good for children--- I agree; it's good for adults too. But when the jig is finally up, and Santa is exposed as a fraud, how then do we treat the mysterious in our world? As a fraud, I would expect! We learn to mistrust the fanciful and wondrous (especially when those in authority purport those ideas) and that keeps us from either accepting the possibility of spirituality at all, or we make religion into doctrines and dogmas, because, well, there's no mystery in that.

Oh yeah, the marketing kills me, too... how we spend 140 billion on Christmas EVERY YEAR, when even just a fraction of that amount could end world hunger/poverty/lack of clean water/lack of education/treatments/etc.etc.etc.....

Santa was supposed to teach us about the spirit of giving, and now he's a marketing tool, invoking nostalgia for more innocent times... such as, back when we believed in Santa...the magical and mysterious...

Maybe we can find a way to teach our children about giving and love in another way during the holiday season, and instead find ways to invoke real mystery and awe in our everyday lives, throughout the year.

okay, totally ripped this off of another blog, but it's worth it.

2009-12-07T14:59:00.000-08:00

if you like Jesus, wieners, and "poopie," you'll enjoy this.

Kindly stolen from Bryan Allain's Blog

un----real. LMAO.

2009-12-04T16:11:00.000-08:00

The (not quite) new Advent Conspiracy Promo.

2009-11-24T20:34:00.000-08:00

power of sacred.

2009-09-14T15:17:00.000-07:00

Thanks to @theofem for the link.

Um, two more. ... this time re: slavery and fair trade.

2009-08-26T16:19:00.000-07:00

1. Article on Cadbury's recent move to increase its fair trade cocoa commitment, now extending into its Australia, Canada, and New Zealand markets.

Get a load of this paragraph:

"Cadbury’s move’s expected to quadruple Ghana’s fair trade cocoa sales. Of course, if you live in the U.S., you may be wondering why Cadbury bars here aren’t going to be getting the fair trade certification mark. The reason: Hersheys. Explains the Labor Rights Forum blog: 'In the US, Hershey owns the license to produce most Cadbury chocolate here and unlike many companies, Hershey has not committed to any certification programs to improve working conditions for cocoa farmers.'"

Read the article in context here.

2. Check out this trailer for a new documentary coming out Sept 15 in NYC... Hopefully it makes it onto the big screen out on the West Coast, too.

two quick articles that I find exciting today.

2009-08-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

1. The Gloves Come Off Against Western Theology... Short article quoting a podcast from Eastern Orthodox thinker Clark Carlton, with some food for thought re: how we Westerners think about God.

follows this up with some thoughts; my favorite quote from them follows:

Postmodernism, in its approach to any academic study, including theology, is often lambasted as cutting out the foundation of Truth with a big huge capital T. More accurately, what postmodernism in the West or theology as usual in the East does is infuse humility into spiritual and theological conversations. What modernist theology does in it's insistence that everything can be proven 100% true given enough propositions, logical arguments, and scientific reasoning is to refuse to be humble concerning the nature of humanity and language. For what its worth, there is great irony in the arguments of Piper or Carson who so adamently insist on the depravity of humankind while at the same time putting forth that we can know all things absolutely. Those two ideas cannot exist together.

2. A New Day at Rolling Hills Baptist Church in Fayetteville, GA... This seems really cool!.... a church selling its property in order to become more truly missional.

Where is the fight on chocolate now?--> Target on Nestle's chest.

2009-08-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of the recent progress made in the STOPTHETRAFFIK campaign against slave labor currently used in harvesting over 35% of the world's cocoa beans. (Can be found on their website here.)

WHAT WE'VE ACHIEVED SO FAR
Six weeks after launching STOP THE TRAFFIK's March on Mars campaign, Mars made an announcement.

They have promised to make their GLOBAL product range traffik free by 2020, starting with Galaxy bars in the UK and Ireland next year.

Mars are giving us a short term commitment with Galaxy bars while we keep asking for evidence of long term, global change.
STOP THE TRAFFIK chocolate campaign developments:

* July 2008:
Verkade committed to 100% fairtrade cocoa and sugar in their chocolate bars in Netherlands from autumn 2008
* February 2009:
Swiss Noir committed to fairtrade cocoa in their chocolate bars in Netherlands from March 2009
* March 2009:
Cadbury committed to fairtrade Dairy Milk in the UK and Ireland from autumn 2009
* April 2009:
Mars committed to Rainforest Alliance cocoa in Galaxy bars in the UK and Ireland from 2010 and across their whole product range globally by 2020

STOP THE TRAFFIK congratulates Verkade, Swiss Noir, Cadbury and MARS.

By continuing to call upon chocolate manufacturers to only use Fairly Traded cocoa in their products and by only buying Fair Trade chocolate ourselves, we can create a world in which chocolate doesn't leave a bitter after taste.

Great progress has been made!... but the chocolate industries' LONG history of broken promises is well documented...

Read a fact sheet PDF here about this.

Read the "short-and-sweet" version here.

Note that Nestle'... the world's largest food company, one of the major chocolate suppliers.... is not listed as making ANY progress here.

Not surprising, given Nestle's ATROCIOUS human rights record over the years... their negligence in the past and present has led to millions of deaths and human rights violations.

Nestle got in big trouble in the 1970s and 80s for pushing formula in the developing world when they KNEW it was directly causing malnutrition in infants... this website shows that even though Nestle was punished, they have not improved much at all. (scroll half-way down to see a list of their human rights violations.)

Nestle has been the subject of boycott and documentary, and (possibly as a result) they have an extensive section on their website committed to "current issues." (Found here.)

Look for a mention of forced and child labor. Go ahead, look for it.

That's because it's not there.

I even downloaded Nestle's "Around the Globe" PDF, to see if they make any mention of their harvesting practices at all. This was all I could find, on page 40 of the PDF:

We source our agricultural raw materials – principally
milk, coffee, cocoa, cereals, vegetables, fruit, herbs,
sugar and spices – either through trade channels or
directly from farmers.
Although we don’t have control over the farms, we
support sustainability in the supply of agricultural raw
materials and agricultural best practices. To put these
words into action, we have over 800 of our own
agronomists, technical advisers and field technicians.
Their job is to provide technical assistance to more than
400,000 farmers throughout the world to improve their
production quality, as well as their output and efficiency....

It goes on to emphasize how these "specialists" have helped farmers create better yields of coffee and milk, thus, according to them, Nestle is "contribut(ing) to improving their standard of living." (caption on page 40).

What a snow job. Better yield doesn't mean better pay, if you're only paying farmers peanuts in the first place. It just means that you end up with more coffee and milk to sell.

And they don't mention cocoa there.... except in the one highlighted instance.... and is sure to emphasize soon after that "we don't have control over the farms."

Um, sure you do. You buy from them. You can refuse to purchase cocoa harvested by slave labor. Mars, Verkade, and other companies have begun to do this (in part); you can too.

The annoying part to me was, as I read this corporate statement, how much Nestle claims to be a "human" company, how much they claim to care about employees and the people who use their products....

To misquote Shakespeare: Methinks they doth protest too much.

Everyone, click HERE to download a letter provided by STOPTHETRAFFIK to send to Nestle.

To email them, go to this web address (send enough to crash it!):

Their US address is: 800 North Brand Blvd. Glendale, CA91203

Here's a "child-friendly" version.

If you get a response, use THIS template for a second letter.

THEN--- STOP BUYING ALL NESTLE PRODUCTS. That means Nestle, Cherrios, Shredded Wheat, Enviga, Gerber, Nespresso, Nescafe, Nestea, KitKat, Dreyers Ice Cream, Friskies, Purina, Coffemate, LeanCuisine, Stouffers, Carnation, and Alcon.

Holy and Ridiculous.

2009-08-19T10:08:00.000-07:00

In the last two years as a new youth pastor, I have developed a saying: "Youth ministry is a mixture of the holy and the ridiculous." If you're a youth or volunteer at New Life, you've heard me say it, undoubtedly.

In that spirit, I offer you today my findings based on a 5 minute perusal of Facebook...

A 'holy' video: a short clip of Empowering Lives: Ilula's Children's Home in west Kenya, where I spent three weeks in the summer of '05 that absolutely changed my life.

A 'ridiculous' video: ummm... well, you'll just have to watch. :)

Video on Ubuntu

2009-08-17T14:10:00.001-07:00

the concept of Ubuntu, articulated by a selection of Zulu/South African community members, set to hauntingly beautiful music.

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

TV bites.

2009-08-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

My wife and I sat down to watch TV together last night for the first time in months. That's partially due to the fact that we've been insanely busy for the past few months and took a day off yesterday, so we had more time. It's also due to us primarily watching DVDs and online streams of TV shows and movies...

(Together this year we've watched a lot of Gilmore Girls, The West Wing, and M.A.S.H. We stream the Vicar of Dibley off of Netflix, too... btw, BBC power, baby! Love the girl power and the irreverence.)

We used to have shows that we watched together... like Pushing Daisies, for one. While Amy and I have different tastes when it comes to humor (I could watch Monty Python and Family Guy till I laugh myself sick; she considers it drivel...), we agree basically on what makes a TV show/series good:

Strong, nuanced character development.

Snappy, witty writing.

(and, it helps if the show addresses/comments on real-world issues... although it can do so without an overt agenda.)

So back to last night... Thursday night used to be the creme de la creme of TV-watching nights. The pinnacle for which every comedy show reached, especially NBC.

Now? It's Parks and Recreation.

AWFUL... just AWFUL. Sleeping (w/o dreaming) would have been more entertaining. Hee Haw reruns would have been more humorous. Amy Poehler (who I've never found very funny anyway) was particularly drab, in a role that basically did nothing but try to copy the Office, and it did so badly.

It wasn't just NBC. In our disgust we flipped around to other channels, trying to find something of worth... and found a drama with inane dialogue and with only sexual content driving the plot, a reality show with NO content, and another bad comedy. Thursday night, and NOTHING to watch.

Meanwhile, networks cancel shows like Pushing Daisies, and Arrested Development.

I know that ratings and advertisers control the airwaves, but the networks should have some power, too, and networks should know that earning viewers is like starting a movement, and movements take time to build momentum. M.A.S.H. ran for 11 seasons and is considered one of the most successful sitcoms in history, yet was a ratings dud its first year. Seinfeld struggled in the early years. In fact, VERY few shows, drama or comedy, that ended up successful, started immediately that way. I don't think the Office did either!... but the Office was innovative to the American market; nothing like it had ever been done before (and become popular)... that was part of its appeal (the mock-interview format, Steve Carrell's character that drove the show's humor, etc.)

But instead of having the same "let's try something new" attitude, the approach is always "let's imitate what works," or "let's interject as much superfluous drama / shock-value into the show as possible to gain viewers." Hence Parks and Rec's bad attempt to copy the Office. As long as the goal is for shows to "become successful NOW," this will stay the same... but in the meantime, the shows with actual CONTENT get flushed.

(Meanwhile, NBC, you're in last place in ratings. Maybe there's a connection?)

Reality TV has increased the problem-- for most of them, ALL of the allure for these shows(e.g. Big Brother, the Bachelor, etc.) is in the clashing of borderline personalities and in the overt sexual content. NO need for writing; just get people to fight and shack up as much as possible.

There are exceptions (30 Rock in my opinion is still going strong; J.J. Abrams and Aaron Sorkin's shows are good typically).... but the trend is definitely downward in quality, and has been so for years. Now it's up to Youtube to be our primary entertainment.

We need a cultural Renaissance; a resurrection of the television medium. We need writers to step up to the plate and deliver original material, and for networks to stop playing Russian roulette with their new shows, to show some foresight and ability to judge what is the "real deal" from the putrescence. (E.g., Pushing Daisies? Good! Parks and Rec, BOO!!)

For now Amy and I will remain content with the purchasing/Netflixing of DVDs, of old shows, the few good shows out now, the BBC, and the internet.

Finding the right Seminary, according to Mouw (not to b confused w Mao)

2009-08-10T12:52:00.000-07:00

"The Chairman," as I like to call him, has written a helpful guide for anyone looking for the right seminary fit.

love your enemies.

2009-07-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

Love Your Enemies from Kristen Miller on Vimeo.

found it on soul pancake

Todd and Norah's voices are getting heard.

2009-07-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who's sent letters; they've been making a huge difference. I hear from Amy that Todd and Norah's quest to bring back their adopted child from Guatemala is catching the ear of various House representatives and they're asking us to stop sending letters. I also hear that some news sources might be reporting on the story soon in Texas, but we'll have to wait and see on that one.

At any rate, keep sending letters!

Click here to get the story of what's going on, from my wife's blog.

Click here to read from Todd and Norah's blog.

Both above sites have copies of the letter to send to your representative, that you can copy and paste into an email box, accessible HERE. All you have to do is find your rep by typing in your zip code, and there will be a link to send them an online note.

It's making a difference, so keep it coming! (And it takes 1 minute, literally. )

developing a rhythm of life.

2009-07-17T12:06:00.000-07:00

I've been on a journey of developing a so-called "rhythm of life" for a while, now... some of you close to me, and those who read my blog "back in the day" might recall that I've struggled with prayer and piety over the years.

Mainly because my prayer life, from a young age, revolved around my guilt. Basically, before I could get to the point where I could come before God, I had to do my own version of spiritual and mental self-flagellation; I had to feel worthless before I could accept God's grace. In the meantime, I would either ignore God or come to him on my own terms.

There's a very thin thread of truth in that kind of spirituality (which I am certain I am not the only one to have learned this kind)... God is indeed much bigger and greater than we are, and does forgive us. But I was so dependent on that feeling of worthlessness, that I really DIDN'T understand God's grace very well... I didn't understand the "light yoke" of being a Christ-follower, the daily rhythm of trying to follow Him through the ups and downs of life, and so I lived enslaved to my own desires when I wasn't really all that worthless, and enslaved to guilt when I did. And that's not grace at all. Grace is about freedom.

Many of you know that I actually gave up personal prayer for nearly a year while I was in seminary, as I tried to "relearn" how to pray and come before God (it's one thing to understand things cognitively, and an entirely other thing to have it seep into your being...). The result of that journey was a trip to Italy and a discovery of Tony Jones' the Sacred Way, and a sermon at Warehouse by the same title, revealing my journey towards what prayer fundamentally WAS, and what it was about (namely, "tuning" into the Spirit of God that is constantly at work in us, and in the world--- in other words, it's about listening.) Spiritual Disciplines at that point became the new focus, and I gladly embraced many of them, and brought them into the corporate setting. I began moving towards a more contemplative approach to ministry in general, and that has become reflected in the youth ministry I do now.... also thanks to Mark Yaconelli and his book.

I have incorporated contemplative elements into virtually every phase of my corporate worship of which I have control: our youth do lectio divina, meditations, stations of the cross, etc; I made some of them prayer ropes when they became church members; I've led Taize worship at our church during the Lenten season. And I would do many of these things on my own as well.

But I still couldn't get consistent with my own personal devotions, again.

Now I think this development is right; we learn to pray and worship in the context of a community FIRST, and then begin to take those communal practices into the "dark closet" and practice them on our own. But as a church leader, and as someone who has promoted and taught spiritual discipline; I have felt quite hypocritical at best, for not being more personally disciplined.... and in danger of abusing my calling as a pastor and church leader at worst... for while God does work in spite of me, over the long haul I cannot remain humble, loving, connected, present, or faithful... without first and foremost orienting myself to the spirit of God CONSTANTLY... I am convinced that there is a plethora of power-hungry, abusive, short-sighted and burnt-out pastors in our world precisely because of this. (this can never be separated from communal spirituality, either....)

What if instead our lives are structured around prayer? This is what the Daily Office of monastics is all about; Phyllis Tickle and others have promoted making this the goal of "common spirituality" as well... When I first began looking at Daily Office materials (mainly using the Book of Common Prayer and an Orthodox prayer book), I still could not get past the idea, or rather the sense, that I was fitting prayer INTO my schedule.... but really, having a "rhythm of life" is all about fitting LIFE into your prayer!!!!..... and that is a HUGE shift of priorities, one that does not make sense to the laborer, to the do-it-yourself, can-do, individualistic achievement-oriented culture in which we live and in which we try to be "spiritual." Neither does it make sense to pastors, parachurch workers, missionaries (in the traditional sense---I believe we're all missionaries), scholars, and other Christians in vocational ministry of some kind, who place their value, "worthiness," aims, sense of connectedness and/or "spiritual feeling," in their work..... for us, the lines are too easily blurred between what God is doing, and what we're doing. Squeezing God into our schedules, just isn't going to cut it.

If the Kingdom of God on earth is the crux of the Gospel, we cannot forget that it is precisely GOD's KINGDOM, and NOT OURS.

All of this to say, I have begun to make "the shift." Finally. Not perfectly, and not to toot my own horn, but I am sharing this because it's making a big difference for me. In another entry, I'm gonna share the specifics of what has "worked," and why. (At least so far.) Maybe you'll find these things/thoughts helpful as well.....

Rgh.

2009-07-13T10:49:00.000-07:00

Can I just say that it kills me that I can't go to this????

I've used up my travel quota for the year already, having spent a month in Michigan, and headed to Hawaii again in December with family. (DEFINITELY not complaining about that!)

But if you randomly stumble upon this posting, and you're looking for discussion about the Christian faith that is raw, rigorous, head-spinning, and fully comfortable tackling the most loaded questions you can conjure up, then the Theological Conversations are as good as it gets.

Add to the fact that perhaps the most prolific theologian ALIVE is at the helm this year (Jurgen Moltmann), and you can add "inspiring," "Spirit-enlivening," "jaw-dropping" and a whole host of other bad adjectives and cliches... all to express just how amazing this thing's gonna be.

So go so I can live vicariously through you. Take lots of notes and vids and pics.

(Talking to you, Sam.)

getting in the christmas spirit early.

2009-07-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

Saw this the first time while in MI... thought u might enjoy a midday-Friday break.

this brought a smile to my face today.

2009-07-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

Thanks Rainn Wilson.

Belhar adopted.

2009-06-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

Still needs to be accepted by 2/3 of the classes (regions in the RCA).

Click here for the RCA General Synod blog on the adoption.

Why You Should Vote Yes on the Belhar

2009-06-08T00:13:00.000-07:00

As a part of the Seminarian Seminar, while I have the privilege to watch the proceedings of the General Synod, I do not have the power to vote (some of us have the power to speak, but that doesn’t include me). So, I am submitting here a few reasons why I think YOU (that is, any of you delegates who are checking this blog) should vote for the acceptance of the Belhar Confession today.

1- It says something crucial about God and His identity that is not explicit in the other confessions.

God is a reconciling God, who reconciles the whole world to Himself through his Son (2 Cor 5), who has conquered sin and death by his resurrection. Therefore as the body of Christ, we must be a reconciling people (Eph 2:11ff). In this we must be fundamentally concerned with our unity as a body (1 Cor 12), and with matters of justice for the poor and oppressed (Amos 5): these things are what make us distinctive, and our voice distinctive, as a witness to the world. This is the heart of the Belhar, and understanding this is critical to understanding the Gospel, and well as God Himself. Yet, as revered as the other three standards are, they do not make this critical piece of the Gospel explicit in the same way that Belhar does.

We need the Belhar for the sake of being a more thorough witness to who God is, and consequently who WE are, as well as what is God’s hope for the world. Justice and reconciliation are INSEPARABLE from the Gospel.

2- Its use in worship and study will help us become a more confessional church again.

I have heard a few times now that the issue of the Belhar is relatively insignificant, because today, primarily, the RCA is no longer a confessional church. However, since I’ve been here, I’ve heard (from pastors and students) of the Belhar being used in churches around the country, in a variety of ways, both in liturgy/worship and in study. Is it possible that the Belhar’s passage might actually lead to a revival of the usage of confessions in our churches? Is it possible, also, that the use of the Belhar will also lead us to rediscover our other confessions?

We need the Belhar because confessions need to be revived as a part of our worship, and the Belhar contains the necessary immediate relevance that make it viable to do so.

3- It will also help us become more ecumenical.

The other American denominations are watching us this week. The rest of the world is watching us, the RCA, this week.

We need to fully embrace the Belhar so that the rest of the world can see this as our commitment to both internal unity (within the RCA), and external unity (through ecumenical dialogue). In doing so, and being the first U.S. denomination to fully accept it as a confesion, I believe other denominations will quickly follow suit (and give us another point of connection with other Christian bodies)….but someone must take the first step!

4- The arguments against the Belhar are based on a faulty understanding of what confessions are.

I have read and heard virtually every argument against the Belhar at this point… they usually come down to a concern regarding how certain phrases in it might be used to support a position that she or he may not hold (e.g., support of homosexuality)… as if accepting the Belhar will tie their hands and keep them from being able to speak from their viewpoint. Yet, NO confession is meant to function as a pillar, an unmovable, static repository of propositional truths (or, as a useless mausoleum of once important issues that are now irrelevant). No, confessions are a RIVER in which we swim… a stream that originates in a particular moment in time, yet flows into a context much larger than its own and still finds applicability, because something about it touches the very heart of God.

We need the Belhar because it is a uniquely rich river in which we can swim (that is, work, worship, and use to interpret scripture)… one that, while the other confessions were written to help us understand and be assured in who we ARE before God, the Belhar offers to help us understand who we should desire TO BECOME… it confronts us, rather than assures us. This makes it more threatening, but it is no less God’s will upon us… it is a prophetic text.

5- We are in a moment of crisis.

Forged in the fires of apartheid, which was certainly a “crisis” moment (as all creeds/confessions are written in such times), we stand today as the American church at a crisis moment of our own: an increasingly diverse and fragmented, individualistic world, that instills deep bitterness if not hatred for others, tribalism, and profound injustice (the divide between rich and poor being wider than ever). The church, rather than confront these things as contrary to the Gospel, ends up looking a lot like the culture instead, and the question becomes: does the church offer the world anything different than what the world offers?

We need the Belhar because with it we make a stand to the world to say what we believe God to call us to be… and as we live in it, we as the church will once again grow into a more viable witness to the world.

Regarding the two main contentions (as far as I can tell):

The “special way” clause (i.e., God is with the poor and broken “in a special way.”)— I would ask someone who contends with this phrase, first of all, to examine your own reaction when you encounter someone who has dealt with particular hardship. Do you treat them the same, as if nothing tragic has occurred? Doing so would be quite cruel in most cases. Does not God’s heart, therefore, ache abundantly MORE than ours, when he sees his people suffer? Would that be unfair to those who are not suffering?

Is not the primary defining characteristic of our God, according to John, LOVE?

Biblical themes also support God’s concern for the poor: God’s deliverance of slaves because he had “heard their cries,” the numerous provisions made for the poor in the Law, God’s condemnation of Israel when they refused to care for the poor, and of course, Jesus, who at the “inauguration point” of his ministry (Luke 4) read from Isaiah that the word of the Lord was upon (him), to preach good news to the poor….set the captives free, break the yoke of the oppressed, give sight to the blind, and to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. Jesus later said that it is MORE difficult for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God (Matthew 19, I think…?) And if that wasn’t enough, he later blatantly identifies himself with the poor in Matthew 25: “Whatever you did for the least of these (hungry, thirsty, naked, homeless)…. You did for me.”

The concept of God being with the poor in a “special way” is biblical. We need to be reminded of it and to confess it, for as Matthew 25 implies, our own souls depends on it.

The “natural diversity” clause-- It appears to me that some people read this particular phrase and immediately read “homosexuality” into it… and at that point, stop reading and assume that the Belhar allows some kind of radical liberal agenda. They must not be reading the rest, for as the rest of the paragraph states, the rejection is of any doctrine where absolutizing this diversity leads to “hinder(ing) or break(ing) the visible and active unity of the church, or even leads to…separate church formation.”

So, to violate Belhar, there must be a doctrine, which absolutizes categories of people, and leads to a breaking of church unity. Those three things must all be present, if you are reading the Belhar literally.

Basically, regarding homosexuality, to vote against Belhar means that you wish the church to reserve the right to a) form doctrines that permanently separate gays and lesbians from straight people and b) to kick them out of your churches. Is not wanting to give up these “rights” what the fear is really all about?

Actually, this section threatens gays and lesbians as much as those who are straight. It implies that to separate because of difference is wrong… the Belhar compels those who wish to split from a “hate the sin, love the sinner” kind of church…. to stay and work through their differences, as much as those who want to split from an “open and affirming” kind of church…. are compelled to do everything possible to stay unified.

The Belhar threatens all of us, because our natural, sinful tendency is to divide and categorize each other, and to either fight or flee when the going gets tough. To stay unified in the midst of diversity is what makes the church unique, and it is only possible because of Jesus Christ.

Okay, I have said my piece… now you vote based on your own conscience.

(Remember, as a delegate you are responsible to voting your conscience, not obligated to represent the people in your church/classis.)

In whatever happens today, Solo Deo Gloria.

the view outside my office.

2009-02-09T16:27:00.000-08:00

Only in Southern California. The heavy rains all day have given way to sunshine once again, and the resulting mountain vista is spectacular. These pics don't do it justice.

i'm feeling blogorific.

2009-02-05T16:24:00.001-08:00

(which means, "I feel like puke and I'm taking a moment away from the mounds of work I have to do while I feel like puke to spice up my long-neglected blog.")

You'll notice the Taize banner on the left. Click on it and it'll take you to a list of Taize podcasts and give you the option to subscribe to it. (You can also do this via ITunes, as I have done.)

Use it for a little centering time during your week.

since my return...

2009-02-03T13:34:00.000-08:00

I discovered two sites that consistently make me laugh.

1. Stuff Christians Like. Hey, anytime you poke fun at the Christian subculture, you got me... Course, I spend much of the time when reading the posts saying "Oh, I do that..." or, "Oooh, I used to do that..."

2. Uncyclopedia. A little (read: a lot) edgier than the first one, and it may not be appropriate for all ages, but, I couldn't stop laughing when I read just a few of these pages. Requires at least a general knowledge of how Wikipedia works in order to fully enjoy... which I assume by now is just about everyone who might read this.

There's my act of service for the day.

at the center.

2009-02-02T11:52:00.000-08:00

A principle being applied to business that should be applied to the church... connection with real beliefs and values. A fascinating read to the business-mind and the spiritual mind: gapingvoid.com

I find it a little disturbing.

Cool new way to discuss consumption and consumerism with others.

2008-07-01T13:34:00.000-07:00

It speaks for itself. Runs 20 minutes. Very well done.

SHIFT:: breakouts, and limping evangelicals.

2008-04-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

Just a quick blurb on the day's events, then I'm off to bed...again. I tried to sleep a second ago, but couldn't. Hating the PCT right about now.

I attended two special Point Leader breakouts, as opposed to most here who went to four shorter breakout sessions today, for an additional cost (I thought it was worth it b/c I really wanted the slower and more intentional pace of longer sessions and smaller group sizes... and besides, the McLaren and Claiborne breakouts were full already.....j/k)... Those groups were with Mike Novelli and Dan Kimball. I also had an early coffee date with Scot McKnight.

The theme of the day, much to my dismay, seemed to be the worry of evangelicals who have encountered emergent and like movements, and have found much to admire and that from which to draw inspiration... but, a concern remains about the perceived "over-open-endedness" of such movements. Particularly through the conversation with Scot and others at the table, and also through Dan's breakout, I was struck repeatedly with the notion that our theological discomforts both reveal our own psychological tensions within ourselves, and that many emergent leaders' thinking has been shaped by deep personal wounds. In other words, the struggle reveals our brokenness, from both sides. (I think my work as a chaplain is where this insight is coming from....)

With the coffee convo w/ Scot, I mentioned that the emergent movement is a half-way house, or a recovery group of sorts... and that's not a bad thing. emergent is serving a badly-needed pastoral need for so many who have been wounded by the modern church. I hope that doesn't come across as dismissive. However, those finding refuge in these "recovery centers" had better be careful about harboring their ill feelings about the modern church until it becomes anger, creating an "other" out of other brothers and sisters in Christ (wouldn't be the first time) and separating ourselves from them and creating more church division.

With Dan's group, it was the opposite that I observed: Evangelicals who have encountered emergent and have found resources, vision, passion, freshness, and new frameworks, but are fearful of fully identifying with emergent, are wanting to ensure that the old theological frameworks of "substitutionary atonement," or "the fall," or topics like homosexuality in the church, are not being changed. There are psychological ( I should say, pastoral...that is, reasons to be pastoral...) reasons for that. Dan at one point posited understanding theology as having a "core" with certain propositions that do not change, while other propositions contain varying amounts of truth are further from the center. Very Quine-esque, which is well and good...but my question is, what if my central propositions were different? (which they were?) What if I wanted more stuff in there? (as in, the Kingdom of God is at hand, which is pretty central to Jesus) What if I wanted less? (as in, Jesus paid the penalty for my sin)... it seemed to me that many evangelicals are weary of wading into the uncharted waters of emergent and are now floundering in the deep end, grabbing onto the old friends of propositional truths to keep them afloat. What is the fear there? What control would they lose? What fears would they have to confront?

I know sounds all very pompous; I know my theology probably reflects the results of a deeply wounded psyche in me...but I felt like I took a step backward in the second breakout session from the first with Novelli (which was great, and clearly addressed how we can have a clear, articulate faith, that can even be taught to and understood by teenagers, without clinging to propositional truth and even our own theological constructs!!!)... and I know I'm probably the only person in the room this afternoon that felt that way. I did learn from the session with Dan some ideas on how to ask tough theological questions with youth or young adults, and how to use visual media. But I was a little disappointed with the rest, if I may be as brazen to say so. Even so, another great day at Shift on the whole.

(And Bo Boshers impressed me again at lunch with his humility and honesty.)

at SHIFT 2008.

2008-04-09T19:48:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in my hotel room only 2 miles from Willow Creek, having just completed the first day of the SHIFT conference, a conference for youth leaders, volunteers, and students. It's my first youth conference since becoming a youth pastor, and I must say, I've been quite impressed. I was telling Amy today just how comprehensive, pastoral, and even, dare I say, impromptu, everything was. Although I knew the speakers (Brian McLaren, Mark Yaconelli, Shane Claiborne were just TODAY) were high quality, I was sure that Willow itself and its staff would make me cringe with its commitment to hyper-efficiency, overproduction, and extravagance. And I must repent at the end of today, having experienced what I have. The worship leader, Charlie Hall, cut out half of his planned set after the second session after listening to Mark Y. talk about the need for silence in our lives, and allowed us to continue sitting in the grief that the silence was stirring up inside all of us. Bo Boshers, Willow's youth exec, teared up after Shane's presentation and again broke the day's planned protocol so that Shane could come back up and pray again for us. All of Charlie's music selections reflected both a deep pastoral conscientiousness of the subject matter, and attention to worship metaphors and pronouns (he had about the right balance of using You-We-I pronouns, in that order of frequency, instead of the usual I-You-We). And as expected, the speakers were all profound, prophetic, and yet still pastoral and loving (especially Mark, with whom I was less familiar). While I remain wary of megachurches in general, I repent tonight of my stereotypes. I thank Willow for providing this needed spiritual and intellectual sustenance for so many youth workers, newbies (like me) and experienced. And I eagerly await tomorrow's fare.

Check out the blog discussions on Out of Ur for the conference.

The Fuller Generation

2008-02-26T13:47:00.000-08:00

Well, Sam told me about this, and I was going to blog on it, but he already beat me to it. Figures.

Jim Wallis (above) wrote a blog on the Huffington Post discussing the new "twentysomething evangelicals".... and using Fuller Seminary as one of the key examples of the changes happening in evangelical Christian thought and culture in America.

In one sense, I beam with pride for my now-alma mater, because I feel like the changes that are happening are positive ones. I also feel like Jim is describing me when he says that more and more Christians ID themselves as "Matthew 25, Luke 4, and 'Sermon on the Mount' Christians" who seek to live out the Kingdom of God in this life as much as the next one...although this change in my head and heart was rooted in events and biblical discoveries that happened before I ever stepped foot onto the Fuller campus....Fuller simply helped the seeds to grow.

I also am left wondering, "Almost every new movement, every fresh breath of the Holy Spirit, becomes over-systematized and dogmatic eventually, setting the stage for a new movement... when will that happen for us?" In other words, when will we take our new "hooks" and theological toys and push them to the extreme, using them (and not the Spirit, nor the Biblical narrative) as the litmus test for legitimate Christianity? I suppose we are years away from this, since we're still the minority... then again, maybe in some circles, we're not.

The rhetoric has been from the beginning that we continue to "emerge," not to ever close neither our ears from dissension nor our eyes to seeing God's fresh movement in the world...this is what makes people who desire a definition for the emerging church tear out their hair. (minus the "we are democrats" part, this might be one of the better attempts to give some definition to the movement, particularly as it is ID'd as an evangelical movement, primarily.)

My question is, will we stay open to the Spirit, and to criticism, and to theological balance?... B/c human history suggests that we won't.

the gospel according to josh. (part 1 of ?)

2008-02-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

Well, the previous blog set a new standard in suck-ery. Good thing no one reads this anymore.

I've had a few theological thoughts ruminating in my head over the past few weeks, a lot of which involving remembering the journey of the past few years. Many of my closer blog friends know that atonement theories (i.e., how the "problem" of the world was solved by Jesus), re-thinking about sin, Pauline thought, dualism, the nature of the Trinity, and the resurrection have all been "hot topics" for me. They have been, because I feel like they really matter to talk about. I mean, I know theology is supposed to be boring, esoteric, and ultimately useless navel-gazing by academicians needing something to put in a dissertation. But, maybe I've been deluded, but I actually think it matters to think about big topics like this. I know that theology comes from life, and so trying to make "meta-categories" like "Trinity" and "Sin" is at best an overgeneralization of experiences and at worst a tool of oppression leading to the death of individual (marginal) experience....but, I still find it useful to do theology.

Because really, theology IS life... Everything we do has spiritual implications. Everything in this world is within the realm of God, and so it has theological meaning. Attempting to dive into this mystery, knowing full well that that mystery is bottomless, should necessarily lead us to a deeper knowledge about life, and namely, the meaning and purpose of it.

Good theology is also self-critical; i.e., it learns from itself, and from its sordid past... if it is, it can never be used as a tool for oppression or violence, because we have too many examples in our history to mention to give us any excuse of ignorance in the future.

I'm no longer a student. I'm a youth pastor now. Which means, when I say things with theological significance, I don't get to put down footnotes and create elaborate arguments; instead I am explaining things have I've studied/discovered to churchgoers and teenagers in simple terms... well, sorta. You can poll any of my kids and they'll probably tell you that I have a tendency to speak in another language at times... I really have to watch myself. And I'm not going to lie; it's been frustrating. I have things in my head that make sense, that I can't seem to communicate as well as I would like. I want people to catch the vision of the Kingdom of God, but I can't seem to put it into terms that most people can get, without having studied theology on their own. Basically, I'm used to working with people who share some basic presuppositions. Without these, I am constantly explaining myself, until I talk myself into so deep a spiral that no one is following me anymore. I exaggerate, but only a little.

After all, my sermons have all been to audiences with whom I feel like I have some continuity in thought and theology....either to classmates, or to the Warehouse, whose congregants largely share my convictions. While I hold these convictions firmly (and yet loosely, which is a conviction in itself), I sometimes now feel like I'm the only one on the planet with this view of the Christian religion...which is not true, of course.

And as you can see, without writing papers constantly, I have become ridiculously verbose...another obstacle to clear communication.

So I've become increasingly interested in working my language and my metaphors, crafting and molding them, so that my progressive convictions can strike an emotional chord with others, just as they do with me. And, I want to be able to show how it all ties together, how it all fits, by logical standards, biblical standards, and historical standards.

In other words, I want to be Rob Bell.

So, over the next several blog entries (I may interject a few other entries about other things) I plan to let this blog be an open forum where I can craft in everyday language my view of the Gospel. That is, "the Gospel according to josh." Once I write something that I think is compelling, I'll be illiciting feedback from trusted sources, but whoever you are, if you have an opinion, I would love to hear it. It would be a great help to me. And my youth will thank you.

a confession.

2008-02-02T17:57:00.001-08:00

I have a confession to make. It’s not an easy one to make, either. In fact, by making it, I will be revealing myself to be a sham. I will give many people who know me, or even who have glossed briefly over this blog, ample reason to call into question any further claims that I make about myself. That is because this confession that I am about to make finds its source in a recent epiphany of mine, which occurred while I was showering just a moment ago. That is to say, I myself wasn’t even aware of this fact. And it calls into question, for myself, much of what I have come to think about, well, myself:

I don’t love to read. And I never have, really.

Now this is distinctly different from saying that I don’t like to read. That’s not the case at all. And in fact, there are an immeasurable number of books and articles that I have devoured, to the point where I could say that I loved reading them. But for me to continue telling the world that I am a bibliophile who spends all of his leisure time rummaging through the pages of Church Dogmatics or Kant’s Critiques would be disingenuous. On top of the usual other possibilities, such as drawing and playing piano or guitar, there is also the possibility of sleeping. Or, watching sports. Basically, if a good football game is on, you can forget about me doing much else.

Sitting down to read almost always has two results: One is that, while reading I will come across a nugget that catches me, and then sends me into a tailspin of emotions and implications, as this novel, brilliant thought intersects my web of beliefs. Those implications often have me chasing me after other further implications, and before you know it I am spewing out original (at least, to me) thought after original thought, as I take these implications and hold them up to my “web,” taking note of both agreements and discrepancies, and as I began to hypothesize what my “web” might look like were I to incorporate this new knowledge. All wonderful things, except that they force me to stop reading in order to concentrate on this task of cognitive reorganization. So I put the book down, and resume reading after I have entertained this new thought fully, perhaps by writing notes in the book margins. A page or two later (or a paragraph, or even a sentence later, if you’re a particularly perceptive writer and the subject matter is engaging me at the moment), I’ll find another nugget, and the process will repeat itself. The result of this is any number of unfinished books on my shelf at one time, having started them and enjoyed them, and even had them influence my thinking to a great degree, but never actually being able to finish them, because the book exhausted me and because it took me an hour to read 5 pages of it.

The other result is that the book is either not engaging, either in general, or to me at the moment that I pick it up to read, or I simply choose, for time and sanity’s sake, not to go down too many of the above-described “rabbit trails” that I normally would. So I skim the book… doing so at a reasonably fast rate, and getting the majority of the book’s content in the process (a skill learned in seminary). I usually get bored, however, and unless I am required by a deadline to continue pushing myself to read on, I will inevitably fall asleep.

There are two problems, as I see it. The first is that I have problems focusing on one thing for long periods of time. Like those with attention deficit disorder, I will experience “hyperfocus” at times, but at others, if I am not engaged by the author, I don’t pay attention all that well. The second is, I think, the greater issue: I am not by nature a “sympathetic” reader. That is to say, I do not attempt to enter the world of the author; I force the author to enter into mine, narcissistic as I am. To follow an author’s thought patterns as disseminated in whatever work of theirs that I might be reading is not natural to me; far more natural it is to break off branches and to graft them into my way of thinking about the world.

I have another confession: I strongly believed the immediately preceding paragraph as I wrote it, but now upon further reflection, I am not so sure. After all, my thoughts are the synthesis of my studies, which involved hours of pouring over sentences and paragraphs. Sometimes my studies truly pulled me into the author’s world and thought process; I recall feeling this when reading Cost of Discipleship or God of the Oppressed. And sometimes, I would read things intently although I had nowhere to “put” the new information assaulting my brain; i.e., it couldn’t yet fit into my web and yet I couldn’t ignore or dismiss it. This was largely my experience with Exclusion and Embrace, although now upon rereading it, I can see just how much the book has influenced my theology. It is perhaps the most influential book for me in my tiny library, in fact. And if I wasn’t at least a little bit of a sympathetic reader, this couldn’t have been possible.

I'm not sure where all of this leaves me, or you, since you chose to read this entry. But the confession is healthy; if nothing else I feel liberated. This is also an exercise in self-reflection. I still love to study and learn, though....so, my nerd-dom is probably safe. But if I come to any further, similarly riveting conclusions, I'll let you know.

for realsies. I'm back.

2008-01-24T20:59:00.001-08:00

Okay, I'm back for real. I say this with confidence, because my girlfriend is making me....:) well, maybe not, but she does has her own coercive means. But I digress.

I haven't blogged much...(okay, not at all) for almost 10 months now because I don't have internet at my house, but now Amy and I have a new plan to both blog more and to get more into each others' heads: Meet every Thursday night at a coffee shop w/ an internet connection, one person blogs (on Amy's Mac) while the other reads, we switch places; we talk about what we read/wrote. So, here I am, and here we are, sitting at Bean Town in Sierra Madre, one of our favorite places for joe and tea in town, listening to the regular Thursday night troubadour, with a name something like Johnny Rotten--while he hasn't (yet) sung the acoustic version of "Anarchy in the UK,", he did sing one of December by Collective Soul, one of my favorite angry preteen songs. Otherwise, he's nothing spectacular, but what do you expect...

As the less-than casual reader might notice on the sidebar, I am now a Fuller GRAD. As in, GRADUATE. I'm done!... and I'm sad, because I loved seminary. But, now I have a new challenge: as Youth Pastor at New Life Community Church, just down the highway from Pasadena. Very excited about serving there...so, looks like So-cal is the immediate future, for at least a while. Missions and/or Ph.D are still in the potential future, but this is a welcome opportunity to start applying my passion and my seminary education to a church setting. And, I am falling in love with the community, the staff, and the youth here. Which is always a good thing.

Also, still doing homeless ministry on Monday nights, but I have scaled back my role, and have given over leadership to Melinda and to Jerry (who works for Oasis International) and am now focused on mentoring a few folks from the park, one of whom named Phillip is a pastor in the making, and it is a privilege to be considered his mentor. I am currently still tutoring, although now privately in a few homes in La Canada rather than in San Marino. I am also continuing my summer experience as a hospital chaplain intern by volunteering at Huntington Hospital as a chaplain on Friday afternoons. Put a serious relationship in the mix, and your schedule fills up pretty quick.

Our troubadour just sang a song about Bean Town, which means that I need to wrap this up. But as I said, more is to come!

someone needs to edit my blog.

2007-03-26T21:00:00.000-07:00

Anyone willing to volunteer?

i'm back?

2007-03-05T12:19:00.000-08:00

...i have a question mark there, b/c I really hope that this post marks my triumphant return to the blog world, except that I'm not sure how that will work out over the next few, busy weeks.

Well, needless to say, a lot has changed in 6 months...and my blog was not one of those things...it needs some serious updating. For one, this profile picture, as my girlfriend Amy says, "looks like a totally different person" than how I currently look. As of right now, I haven't cut my hair in, oh, about 6 months, and I'm rocking the full beard. And I've put on another 5 pounds or so, but you can't tell that from the picture. Anywho, I digress....

At the moment, I don't have regular computer access. Which actually, I've really grown to appreciate. I don't feel tied to checking my email 8 times a day, or wasting time looking at random blogs anymore. (Although I do miss getting the latest scoop on tunes. I've still managed to buy numerous CD's over the past few months, despite this.) So, I don't think about blogging as much, which means, esp. for me, that I will not blog. But now I'm hoping to make it a (at least) a once-a-week thing, either from the school library or from my girlfriend's house. I just have to remember.

Also, I keep putting more and more stuff on my plate (which is everyone's story in seminary, I'm aware, but still it is a bit overwhelming at times). I'm currently a full-time Fuller student, one of my classes being a doctoral seminar in philosophical methods (and I'm still very much a newbie to philosophy) with Nancey Murphy (who is pretty big-time); I am in about the 8th month now of leading a homeless ministry that I and a few others started at my church (Lake Avenue Warehouse), which is my internship for Fuller; I am tutoring kids for money (very) part-time, and I'm also a TA for a Fuller professor (who supplements my income with lattes); and I am also in a long-term relationship, now for almost 14 mos. (Wow, that's crazy)...which is awesome, but you know, such things take time. So there's a lot going on, and next quarter appears to be another step deeper into the bog of busyness.

So, I preached my first (in the US...I did preach one sermon in Kenya, actually) sermon last night, to my church. The experience was awesome, and I had several friends show up or call me yesterday, which I was very thankful for. The sermon was, in many ways, preached to myself...I spoke on ancient Christian prayer practices, and the need for us to be in tune to God in our increasingly busy world. (The irony was, working on the sermon came to dominate my schedule all last week...go figure.) But I guess that's my story, as I continue into the Lenten season...not letting my schedule dominate me, but to keep listening to God, making time to orient myself towards Him, so that I can be in tune with him throughout my day.

So, I guess what I'm saying is... if blogging becomes a chore, then I probably won't do it, but if it becomes a release and a time to process, then I'll start keeping up with it again.

The sermon should be online... I don't know when the mp3 will be up, but go to http://www.ourwarehouse.org and click on "listen"..it should be there soon.

{sigh....}

2006-09-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

(reminiscing about the days when I used to blog regularly...and when people actually read my blog...)

(i look like this guy, only scruffier, more hair, freckly, and more chiseled features. )

my first article submission for the SEMI-unedited

2006-08-04T18:01:00.000-07:00

5 Random Lessons that I Learned in Italy

In case you didn’t know about it, Fuller and the Brehm Center have taken students to Italy for a study-abroad program for the last two summers, in order to have the opportunity to study medieval art and theology, and to experience these things in the culture from which they originated. I was lucky enough to be a part of the most recent trip. Of course, Italy has changed substantially over the past few centuries and so we students shared in the richness of the Italian culture, and its proud mixture of the past and the present.
Whenever we are displaced into a new setting, learning is bound to occur. Sometimes those lessons are pleasant experiences; other times… well, many of you all are aware of the “difficulties” that can occur when attempting to travel abroad. In light of my recent experience, I thought it to be my communal duty to share a few short lessons that I learned (perhaps a few at the end that might save you some traveling nightmares).

1. Europe is not the U.S. I know, shocker. Yet you would be surprised how easy it is to forget this. Lisa (my traveling buddy, who works for the SEMI) has made the point that we are more flexible and open to new experiences as American travelers when enter a culture far removed from our own (e.g. East Africa or India), since we expect cultural clashes to occur, and so we accept them more readily. We may go to Europe, however, expecting our typical comforts that we take for granted (e.g. wide assortments of foods, quick service, all-night convenience stores) to be available everywhere in Europe. When we discover that this is not the case (it isn’t), we might be prone to a worse “culture shock” than if we were to travel to non-Western locales.
2. Getting out of L.A. is nice. Yes, going to Rome and Paris (some of our side travels) is frenzied and littered with cars and smog and the like (although their cities manage to maintain their attractiveness anyway…the ties to the past that L.A. lacks help a lot in this department). But the quaint, cobblestoned city of Orvieto, where our classes primarily met, which crowns a lone Umbrian hill among rolling vineyards, which has a coffee shop or restaurant on every corner where conversations can leisurely take place over a glass of Classico… it was a breath of fresh air in comparison to L.A. I mean that quite literally. If you haven’t been on the “outside” for a while, you owe it to yourself.
3. Old is the new “new.” Another aspect of our “New World” lifestyle is our propensity to invent, create, develop, or refine; whenever we can find a way to be more efficient, we take it. While this has led to much wonderful innovation, it also leads to a numbing discontent, and a lack of respect for “older” ways of doing things. This sentiment has pretty much immersed the majority of American spirituality and religion as well. Thankfully, many of us have begun to attempt to reclaim our past and our traditions, recognizing our Christian experiences as the continuation of a story that has actually been told for quite some time before we came around. Going to a place where the past is still revered helped me in my quest to understand my past better.
4. Mega-churches are not a new phenomenon. This is something of a side note, but we saw cathedrals, even in the small Italian towns, that would make Bill Hybels salivate. Sure, medieval Catholics didn’t have Powerpoint; they only had masterpiece frescoes painted on the walls and ceilings that surrounded them with the story of God’s love. They didn’t have wireless mics, only massive vaults extending to heaven that helped immerse the sanctuary with sound. Creating accessible space for people to experience the divine en masse, filling the senses with sight and sound during worship… these are nothing new to Christianity.
5. My fifth lesson is actually a hodgepodge of lessons learned while traveling; to thee who hath eyes, read and taketh to heart.
-Don’t fly American. British Airways is far superior.
-Unless you want to develop a spiritual discipline of relinquishing your possessions, hold on to your bags at all times, in Rome especially. Wear a money belt.
-In Italy, try the grappa… just not in your espresso.
-Go to Venice. Anyone who tells you that it’s dirty and sinking and not worth the trip is a liar.
-Bring an alarm clock or cell phone, and keep them safe.
-Invest in a large pack you can wear on your back, if traveling frequently.
-Eat gelato every chance that you get.
-Be VERY early to the airport when flying out of Charles De Gaulle.

-And finally, Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, smile at anyone in Paris you don’t know. (If you need an explanation, ask me on campus sometime.)

post #51.

2006-08-02T13:51:00.000-07:00

well, it's about high time I break the half-century mark.

so I'm back from Italy... LONG back (I've been back for about six weeks or so)... and it was easily THE most stressful travelling experience I had ever had. Since then I've also been to Texas to visit my girlfriend, and for us to meet each other's families... and while short, was quite a relaxing and rejuvenating trip. And now, i'm back in class, while still finishing up papers for my Italy classes, beginning a new church ministry with Warehouse/Lake Avenue, and still doing the tutoring thing.

Life is definitely in transition right now, hence the unnecessary stress and busyness, and hence the black hole that has been my blogging activity post-Italy. I will improve, I promise... I'll try to post Sat.

headed to italia!

2006-06-04T15:12:00.000-07:00

I will be in Orvieto, Italy, taking Fuller classes with Dr. Dyrness and Peace through the Fuller Brehm Center's Worship, Theology and the Arts Summer Program. The above photos are shots of Orvieto, We will be spending two weeks there taking classes at a local convent, travelling around to various sights of artistic and theological import (inc. St. Francis' Cathedral in Assisi) and attending various Catholic ceremonies (e.g. Corpus Christi celebration, Mystery Plays, etc.) I'll be taking two two-week classes, one on Medieval Catholic Spirituality, and one of the theology of Medieval Art. Before and after the two weeks, some friends and I will be travelling around a bit (Paris, Venice, and Rome specifically). All very exciting stuff.

So, I am writing this entry (officially my 50th blog!) as a temporary "ciao," until I return home in (very) late June. I leave on Wednesday, June 7th (my birthday!...kinda bummed that I won't be able to celebrate with friends and all, but who am I to complain? I'm going to freakin' Europe!), flying into Paris to meet up with my travelling companions, who are done with classes already... I however still have two finals to go.

Which reminds me... I should be studying/grading papers right now...

guess what I bought?

2006-05-20T18:52:00.000-07:00

Very excited about the prayer rope I just bought from easternchristian.com. I prayed the "Jesus Prayer" for the first time late last night, sitting upright in my hammock outside. It was pretty awesome. So much meaning packed into so few and simple words. Amazing that Christians worldwide have been doing these kind of things for centuries, and only recently have Protestants rediscovered their value. (that's the whole "protest" part of being a Protestant.)

For anyone who knows me relatively well, you may have heard me mention my own struggles in the last 9 months or so with "acts of personal piety," which for my background, usually consisted solely of reading the Bible for 15 minutes a day. While there's nothing wrong with this, I have always struggled with keeping focus, and I began to question why I was doing such things in the first place. Out of obligation? To be filled with "warm fuzzies about Jesus"? On top of all this, going to seminary had made it very difficult to open up any part of the scriptures and NOT analyze it to death. Being given new tools to analyze scripture has been a phenomenal gift and learning tool, and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it has put a sizeable damper on my prayer life.

So, despite my fears of becoming too "gimmicky" and trying too hard to be cool (which I do enough of already), I am beginning to creep into the roots of our faith, kept alive today by the Orthodox tradition. We'll see how this goes. What will be next? Icons? Creed recitation? Ignatian Examen? Longer Retreat? All of those sound really attractive to me right now... for now, I'm dipping my toe in the water.

prayers.

2006-05-04T10:18:00.000-07:00

I'm swamped, tired, drained...fill in the cliche. And my body is breaking down because of it (colon infection, acid reflux on crack cocaine...)

I'm taking Friday and Saturday off from school work, even though I have papers to grade.

Prayers are appreciated.

church becoming too feminine? these guys should hear BBT.

2006-04-25T13:55:00.000-07:00

Rhett Smith posted on an article put out by Biola's magazine regarding the recent popular Christian movement to make Christian males, well, more male. (Personally, I think we as a church should be more concerned about the first half of that title, seeing as how that's our job and all.) Now, who's standard of "masculinity" are we going by? And to those who think this is self-evident--how far do we take are ideas of what males are supposed to be like? Anywho, go and read his thoughts... which I pretty much share.

go to rhett's blog

Btw- I've heard it said before by friends that "something bothers (them) about women preachers... I mean, I may be inclined to think it's ok for them to preach, but I've never heard a good one, so...it's hard for me to think that they're actually called to preach."

Yesterday in my preaching class we watched various sermons on tape from some of America's top preachers. We watched three males to start... and then Barbara Brown Taylor, a (now former) Episcopalian pastor came on the screen... and it was the most powerful sermon out of the bunch, easily. The room laughed uproariously when Jeremiah Wright (African-American UCC pastor) cracked jokes; it chuckled nervously at Tom Long's wide-eyes as he preached... but it sat in stunned silence as Rev. Taylor spoke of the quiet, unpretentious ways the church actually sometimes manages to do its job by reaching out and loving others, in spite of itself...mostly by telling simple, compelling stories.

I'm not gonna lie... my eyes welled up a bit. She can be my pastor any day...esp. if her pastoral capabilities are half as good as her preaching abilities.

(She's an adjunct prof at Columbia... I hope my friend Whitney gets to take her homiletics from her.)

music is phenomenal for stress relief.

2006-04-24T09:17:00.000-07:00

So last week was insane...and this week proves to be little better. In the meantime I managed to buy a good amount of CDs (I always go a while w/o buying any CD's and then buy in bulk, to save on shipping) which are managing to keep my head screwed on straight. (My vice made apparent.) The Decemberists--yes you want to buy Picaresque. Very pleased. Franz Ferd--some incredibly catchy songs on there, although I haven't listened to the whole thing through yet. Clap your hands say yeah-- quirky and intriguing. Arcade Fire--been waiting to buy Funeral for a long time, and it was worth the wait. What's even better--Over the Rhine and Ryan Adams are on their way! Oh, bliss!

i'm supposed to write something now, right?

2006-04-16T15:52:00.000-07:00

but I got nothing. At least not right now. My brain is foggy from life's activities, and from the snot that I keep inhaling back into my body (I'm sick). Plus I'm not in the world's best mood...but a rant about that is unnecessary at the moment.

So I refer you (whoever you are) back to my questions concerning the atonement, 2 days ago. You can now read them, and comment as you like.

Happy resurrection day to all.

overwhelmed....oh yeah, it's good friday.

2006-04-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

(note: don't read and respond to this blog until after Easter. Enjoy the holiday. Do your devotionals on Sacred Space and go to church (or spend time with your new monastic community) or something like that. Please.)

so i'm pretty distracted as of late... and busy. My TA duties began this week, so now I'm tutoring, TAing, and taking a full course load. Plus I'm planning my study abroad situation this summer (I'm going with Fuller to Italy to take two two-week intensive classes...just put my deposit down yesterday), and planning my summer and fall internship (For those who don't know, I'm attempting to start a "hub" group through my church that aims to live out socioeconomic diversity and reconciliation in a fellowship setting...as my Field Internship for Fuller). Throw in running/hiking, my ever-growing obsession with ultimate frisbee, piano and guitar, babysitting and home tutoring, and class/non-class related reading...blogging has been on the bottom of the totem pole of priorities these past few weeks.

OK, so here's a topic of discussion, for those "theologically-minded" people out there, approp. for Good Friday: What did Jesus do on the cross?

Yeah, I know the answer you're supposed to give. "He died for my sins." But as of lately I've come to desire to push further about this very central issue of the faith I claim. (Being aware that Christians for centuries have aimed to understand the atonement better and have always come up short, I tread forward lightly, knowing that I must ultimately exclaim, "O the depths!" as Paul did. Of course, Paul only made this exclamation after 11 chapters of theological probing!... so this is where I must begin.)

To return to the above statement: "He died for my sins." For lack of a better way to talk about this, let me break down this statement:

"He"--this is the part of the statement that I am the most sure about, even if the rest gets really convoluted in my fragile brain. Even the most staunch atheist must admit to the historical existence of Jesus, his ministry, and his death on a cross.

"died"--I am also quite certain about this (as noted above); although I'd like to nuance it differently...more accurately, he was killed...murdered...executed by the Roman government. He didn't kill himself; he didn't die on an altar, and I dare say that there was at least a chance that Jesus himself did not plan his execution- instead he was dragged off, "like a lamb to the slaughter," yet remaining faithful to His Father in heaven all the while, even to his death.

"for"--Okay... so what was in fact the purpose of Jesus' death on a cross? (Did it have to happen on a cross at all?) Ben Meyer says that Jesus, as he eventually came to the realization during his ministry on earth that his faithfulness to the will of the Father would eventually lead to him being killed, "began to fill his impending death with significance." What is this significance? To satisfy the need for God to evoke violence as a result of human transgression? Is our God merely bloodthirsty, or vengeful?

"my"--this one I really have a problem with. Saying "Jesus died for me" is well and good, but I think we tend to say this all too often and forget the fact that Jesus did NOT come to save YOU or ME by ourselves...but to restore a COMMUNITY, and to establish His kingdom upon the entire EARTH.

"sins"--Here I just think our view of sin is really small. It includes moral obligations, yes...but it certainly goes farther than that... it refers to our orientation as a people--are we following after idols (money, success, careers, friends, acceptance, my own desires and wants, power, etc.) or after God? (Btw, the OT and Jesus make pretty clear that trying to "mix and match" your deities doesn't typically work out very well. "You cannot serve both God and Mammon...") I honestly think that there are many a person in this country who have prayed "sinner's prayers" and have gone to church their whole lives...who may find themselves among the "goats" when Jesus comes to judge. In addition to all of this, sin is not simply an individual phenomenon, as hinted above. There are societal sins that we as a church community are called to address. We cannot remain satisfied simply b/c "my soul is saved."

I have been impacted by several theologians and scholars as of late (e.g. Miroslav Volf, John Goldingay, N.T.Wright, Stephen Travis, Marianne Meye Thompson, as well my return to the studies of St. Anselm and Peter Abelard) and have come to (somewhat of a better understanding...

...but I want to know what you all think out there, seminarians/theologians or not. I'll throw in my two cents as comments come (if they come at all. If they don't, I'll just have to blog later...which as you all know, may take a long time!)

If this has thoroughly depressed/upset you before Easter, I'm sorry. You didn't pay attention to my warning, apparently.

The Good News is that even though it's Good Friday now, Easter is coming. And with Easter comes the hope for all humanity, the restoration of the whole of creation to God and the partial installation of the coming Kingdom. So I pray that all of you, this Easter, experience the resurrection of Christ anew, which is our hope for our own resurrection as a redeemed people.

John Perkins in Pasadena.

2006-04-02T16:25:00.000-07:00

John Perkins, noted speaker and authority on racial reconciliation and founder of Harambee, spoke today at Bethlehem Church of Christ Holiness in Pasadena. Has a great ability to contextualize a deep and challenging message. Here are my notes from his sermon:

Text: Psalm 11... notably v. 4: "If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?"

-As Dr. Perkins nears the end of his life, it is increasingly his desire to pass on his knowledge and experience to the next generation, believing his calling of his own generation to be near its end.

-The two "foundations" of society, (referring to Ps 11.4) are the family, and the community. These two foundations are crumbling in American society; the latter perhaps being even more insidious b/c nobody seems to be talking about it!

-There are 5 things that the next generation must do in the church, as the church, in response to the current situation:

*We must read scripture. But we must read it differently than the way we have. It is not merely a devotional book, it is a textbook for how to live life, and how to order ourselves before God and others.

*We must "de-hijack" prayer from selfishnes, greed, and individualism, that has tore this country, and its communities, apart. Prayer is more than asking, it's about listening, and asking God "What can I do?" rather than simply asking for things. We pray for His kingdom to come. (He commented briefly yet passionately about the heresy of prosperity gospel, and of TBN.)

*We must "decolonize" the Gospel. America thought that it could have the Gospel and slaves at the same time. The problem is that even though reconciliation is the heart of the Gospel (to God and to each other), this is considered a secondary, rather than the primary issue of the church. The terms "white church" and "black church" are heretical. There was never a more religious nation than apartheid South Africa; there was never a more religious state than Mississippi, where Perkins grew up and experienced racism of the worst kind. We are a nation under stress (he inserted comments on Wal-Mart's reliance on federal aid to provide health care (my post on it back in nov)(wal-mart movie) and on the Iraq war based on "false pretenses"); we need the Gospel to break the barriers in our churches and society down, and to show concern for the poor and oppressed.

*We need to realize that God left the church, his body, as his witness/force in the world. While worship is important and necessary, we must figure ways to reach out to the next generation (inserted comment on hip-hop culture here-)

*Finally, we need a philosophy of ministry; that is, we must take key concepts that highlight our purpose as a church, and give them form and structure. His own personal philosophy are the four P's: (He is a fan of alliteration, I am discovering:) live w/ a Purpose, from it draw your Passion, direct that passion towards People, and live a life of Praise (or Perseverance? the 4th P wasn't clear. So much for alliteration...)

so many things to blog, so little time.

2006-03-30T17:57:00.000-08:00

I think I need a sidekick...

two shoutouts.

2006-03-29T11:57:00.000-08:00

1) to Mark Driscoll, who on Monday publicly apologized on his website regarding his comments towards Brian McLaren and Doug Pagitt a while back.

2) to Andre Daley, who's website is now one of my favs to read, mainly b/c he is the kind of critic that emergent really needs but hasn't had yet. Check out his comments on being "post-emergent," on "neophilia,", the slow-to-develop praxis of emergent,and the conversation's lack of diversity, among others. He also was how I found the Driscoll apology, which he linked.

does government exist for the people? US Politics say no. Again.

2006-03-28T14:24:00.000-08:00

I would post more on politics if I didn't feel so ignorant of the issues. (Mainly b/c it's hard for me to take the time to keep up on current events. I really try, though.) But the immigration hoopla is getting pretty big. Yesterday whole highways were blocked off by protesters in LA.

The debate is intriguing to me...as is the vehemence with which some supporters of the new bill appear to have towards the goal of keeping out illegal immigrants and punishing those that are already here. I remember a few years ago when Bush first proposed the guest-worker plan, and thought it was a good compromise that at least attempted to deal with the reality of the issue. Seems that the Senate has other ideas.

I'm admittedly not a Bush-ite, but I respect his views on immigration laws. I just wish he would take a more defiant stand against his own party, which unfortunately, too often, believes it runs the country.

Read the BBC article here.

Again, the issue is people...people who getting lost in the mix of a political war. A pattern that repeats far too often.

give me your tired, your poor, huddled masses yearning to be free...

I did it too. My spidey sense is tingling...

2006-03-24T12:27:00.000-08:00

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man		90%
Superman		75%
The Flash		70%
Robin		62%
Catwoman		60%
Hulk		55%
Supergirl		47%
Green Lantern		45%
Iron Man		45%
Wonder Woman		42%
Batman		35%

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

1 point away from the sweet 16.

2006-03-20T01:40:00.000-08:00

and.... so close. Agh.

aggies get big win over syracuse.

2006-03-16T21:43:00.000-08:00

On a night where I'm supposed to be up all night writing a paper, I'm finding plenty of diversions. Including learning of the fact that the Texas A&M Aggies, my alma mater, has just upset #5 Syracuse in the NCAA tournament, marking our first win in the tourney since 1980. Considering that we were winless in the Big 12 just two years ago (and last place in the Big 12 every year since its inception!), this is a remarkable accomplishment.

Gig'em, and BTHO LSU!

End of the quarter time.

2006-03-08T13:00:00.000-08:00

Welp, it's that time again. Particularly sad for me, since this quarter marked the beginnings of much more fruitful blog-ologue than before...but it is unlikely that I'll be adding any new posts until after my finals are done and papers turned in. So sad...I'm gonna try to keep up w/ the lenten devotional, and I may make a random posting here and there, but don't expect much.

That said, I have several things I want to dialogue about w/ people when the next quarter gets underway:

1) Keeping on the "embrace" conversation, and w/ Kyle's related "fav" word, "ubuntu"
2) the importance (and the distortions) of personal piety/devotion.
3) a vision of a socioeconomically diverse church.
4) what to do w/ this 100$ I keep toting around (see "kingdom assignment" post)
5) (if anyone's interested) philsophical discussion of human composition, existence of a soul, and a "spiritosomatic" unity)
6) why the Spurs are the best team in the NBA (and will always be better than the Lakers.)

#5 sounds strange; it comes from some thoughts I've developed from my class with Nancey Murphy this last quarter regarding Anglo-American postmodern philsophical thought. That last term in #5 is one I made up, and is an idea I'm speculating about, so I don't expect much feedback about that as of yet. I would like to hear any thoughts regarding 1-4 from others (inc. the wino Texas law student :) ) who might have thoughts. Post 'em here and I will post my thoughts in response when I emerge from my study lair.

In conclusion, Benny Hinn is a putz.

Addendum to conclusion: Sam, spare me w/ telling me how the Clippers beat us last night. I know you're not a Clipper. You're gold and evil purple through and through. And I give the Clips my utmost respect. Now we'll wait till Friday.

um, is this real?

2006-03-04T14:26:00.000-08:00

He lives!

inner dialogue.

2006-03-01T14:14:00.000-08:00

Voice in my head #1: I really hate it when people respond to posts by saying, "Are you stupid? Of course that's wrong!" They just shut down a conversation right off the bat by doing so. Crazy fundies.

Voice #2: What about you? Didn't you just hear yourself? You're no better than they are!

Voice #1: Well, I'm just being honest.

Voice #2: And they aren't? I mean, you do a lot of talking about honesty; can you really fault someone for simply sharing their opinion?

Voice #1: It's their opinion that they subject onto other people that's the problem. But I guess you're right in the sense that I'm no better. I just want sincere dialogue to happen.

Voice #2: And how, exactly, is sincere dialogue supposed to happen, if people are afraid of sharing how they truly feel about something? If someone thinks they're right and everyone else is wrong, why shouldn't they be allowed to say so?

Voice #1: I guess I feel like it can't be sincere honesty unless is willing to contend with another position. I don't mind that someone disagrees with me, but if they make a qualitative distinction of who I am based solely on an opinion I have, then they have shut the door to a space where real, honest dialogue can occur.

Voice #2: And you don't make qualitative distinctions of others as a result of their opinions?

Voice #1: I try not to. Sometimes I do, and I often do so as a defense mechanism in the face of a slammed door to conversation, as my first comment illustrated. That's not a good thing, but I suppose it helps me understand those who have such venemous opinions...they are probably reacting against some kind of exclusionary act which they have faced in the past, or still face. So I guess what I want is for the cycle to be broken, so that we can really learn from each other. And that will take a heaping of humility to go with our honesty.

Voice #2:...

Voice #2: You're such an idiot.

Lent begins. hunger sets in.

2006-03-01T12:25:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of Lent, and about the only thing that I have done to celebrate was to eat pancakes last night for Fat Tuesday (Is that a real tradition? I think it was just an excuse my friends gave so we could go eat pancakes.) I missed Fuller's chapel this morning where they had an Ash Wednesday service. I really needed to go running w/ Jonathan this morning. I've been getting antsy. And fat. (Those pancakes certainly didn't help.)

I plan on participating in this Lenten weblog devoted to reflections on Miroslav Volf's new book, Free of Charge. I got the book for free for being part of the Emergent Conversation with Volf in early February. The book is the official 2006 Lenten Devotional as designated by the Archbishop of Canterbury. It's an important book for our day and age, dealing with issues of giving and forgiving, both of which are very difficult for those of us mired in the modern world. Yet these are central concepts of our Christian faith. I encourage you all to get this book... Exclusion and Embrace is amazing, but this book is much more accessible for casual reading.

I'm spiritually starving. I really don't know how to explain how I'm feeling better than that. (Maybe it's because I go to Fuller.) This past weekend Kyle, my good friend from Texas A&M, came to come ski and visit, and we got all beat up and had great fun. But Sunday I had a profound experience: we went in the morning (per my typical Sunday ritual) to the Church in the Park to help feed people who are homeless, and I took notice of the obvious starvation that many of these kind and grateful people faced...those who had their spoons in their mouths while still in line for more food. The other half of my Sunday ritual (minus Ultimate frisbee, which I skipped) is going to Warehouse, my church, and this particular evening focused on reflection and worship music, and culminated in communion. And the sense that I had as I sat in a trance-like prayer (which is really strange for me) prior to taking communion was that I was starving, with a yearning for grace that was not unlike one would yearn for food, but finding myself at best reluctant to receive that grace. It was surreal, and the kind of experience that I have not had in a long time. I'm hoping that this Lenten season will help me understand God's grace better, and how I can rightly respond to it, as someone who is trying to be a faithful disciple.

In the midst of craziness, but I had to check this out...

2006-02-23T11:50:00.000-08:00

Read this article by Fuller's own Kara Powell, if you're interested for the future, or have ever gone on a short-term missions trip. It raises some important issues that we as Westernized Christians who do these trips must contend with and be honest about. I loved going to Africa this summer, but I did struggle with the real "help" I was providing. It's one reason I decided to help sponsor one of the children in Ilula: so I can remain connected in some way with their community...I am also wanting to take a trip this summer somewhere (possibly Cambodia, Zambia, or Venezuela)...this would also be for school credit, but this article reminds me of the things that I wrestled with in my Incarnation and Mission class last quarter, and how I need to consider the needs of the people that we seek to serve before my own desire to feel "helpful."

This is also why my "project" (for lack of a better term) at my church...not the Kingdom Assignment (as dubbed) but something I've been working on before that... is something that I've become passionate about...an entire church community seeking regular, consistent time with the downtrodden and oppressed, welcoming them into community and engaging in mutual exchanges with them. This is all very vague and cryptic, but i don't have the time (or energy :( ) to explain. I will post on this again soon, in hopes that people out there in the wide world of cyberspace will pass on wisdom, encouragement, criticism, etc.

new look. new assignment.

2006-02-22T10:36:00.000-08:00

My blog got a makeover this week. Even though I still have no clue what I'm doing. I need help with making my blog more reader-friendly. Anyone out there willing to help?

It's been an eventful week thus far...this weekend my friend Kyle from Texas is coming to CA to go skiing w/ me and some friends at Mammoth. Way excited.

The interim pastor at Lake Avenue Church (my church Warehouse's big brother church, came to preach for us last Sunday night, about God and money. He talked a lot about stewardship and the importance of recognizing our money as not belonging to us but to God, and living accordingly. He then went on to ask for volunteers from the audience...I was one of them. He handed each of us a 100$ bill and said, "You can take this money if you realize that a) this is God's money, not yours, b) you can do whatever you want w/ it, so long as it serves to further the kingdom of God, and c) you must report back to the church in 60 days what I did w/ the money."

So now I'm on a Kingdom Assignment. There's four of us from my church hub that volunteered, so we have 400$ pooled together. Anyone have any ideas of what we can do?

what a night to finally turn on the Olympics.

2006-02-18T15:20:00.000-08:00

Lindsey Jacobellis was in a clear route to victory in the first ever Olympic women's snowboard cross. She had survived some very tough competition in the previous runs, she fought her way to the lead after coming from the far side of the track to cut in front of everyone, and two of the trailers ended up wiping out bad (one left the mountain on a stretcher). She had a commanding lead by the home stretch, no one was close; she only had to coast for the gold. Then she did a method air on the last jump to show off for the crowd. Then she fell. And she ended up getting the silver.

Jerry Seinfeld comes to mind: In the Olympics, gold is great, of course; bronze is at least something. But silver is like the Committee saying, "Congratulations. You're the first loser. No one lost better than you."

My dad also comes to mind: Don't showboat. Don't hog the ball; don't be afraid to use the backboard; play it safe. Jacobellis could've used my dad's help last night.

This afternoon I'm recovering from a 4-hour marathon Ultimate frisbee excursion. And beginning work on my Gospels paper. Hopefully I can stay awake.

(btw... this is my first post w/ a pic! Quite a moment for blogging history. Hopefully it turns out.)

some notes from the volf conference.

2006-02-14T11:00:00.000-08:00

1. Theology is for a way of life. We only speak of God at the point of intersection between God and humanity. Theology guides the church into a way of viewing the Christian faith in the context of our tradition and particular practices. It is intended to be a relevant practice; often theology refuses to be relevant. Volf seeks to maintain relevance by speaking about how God relates to particular issues of our world.

2. Is theology "systematic"? Theology helps us to see how things "fit" together; it aids our understanding of Christianity in that it provides consistency to our beliefs. But we must be careful about this... our Scriptures aren't neat and orderly like we would like them to be, and we shouldn't attempt to cram everything into the same suitcase of theology...yet we can't leave these things behind, either! Volf suggests letting them "dangle out of the suitcase," or, taking these things as carry-ons luggage. The complex things of the faith are seen as resources and not competitors to our theology. This requires patience, and humility, as well as a respect for our Scripture.

3. Christians are in the precarious position of attempting to avoid both sectarianism (by defining ourselves as what the world is NOT) and radical accomodation (reshaping our faith based on the surrounding culture). This is where Volf's(admittedly messy) idea of "embrace" (opening ourselves to the "other") and "double vision" (Attempting to see/understand the world through the "other's" eyes)can be helpful tools for theology. It is good for Christians to enter into the world, into the "pluralistic marketplace," and with an attitude of humility and respect, attempt to both proclaim and learn.

4. Volf is a pacifist, but he does not shy away (as many Christians do) from the idea of a God who seeks justice. God in his holiness demands justice, and becomes violent in reponse... that violence being directed towards the violence of humanity. Volf speaks about justice in terms of the violence that we invoke towards one another-- and that there will be a "leveling" of the playing field one day. God is patient with those who perpetrate violence, and does everything he can to penetrate their hearts (e.g. die for them on a cross). Yet the incessance of perpetrators, combined with the impatience of the victims who cry out, "How long, o Lord?" allows the possibility/justification for a divine violence. (Volf is hopeful, however, that God's mercy (invoked by the perpetrator's surrender) will be the last word.)

5. Christians, however, follow the model of Christ and submit to the violence of the world, and in doing so enacting violence upon violence. This is the only option for us; seeking justice through violence is in the hands of God alone; we do not take up the sword. (We must also consider how we perpetrate violence of various kinds--by excluding others, unjust economic systems, pride and ignorance, racism and prejudice, insistence on a Western perspective, refusing to show love to the least of these, etc.-- and repent.)

6. Indifference is a scary thing; Volf states that those who are indifferent to God, even as a self-proclaimed "Christian," is farther away from God than the staunch atheist (e.g. Nietzche), who takes God seriously enough to deny him! Indifference is a drug that numbs us from "feeling," from loving.

7. God is closer to us than we are to ourselves. There is no exit from God's relationship to us.

8. Volf spoke on atonement theories a little bit: There are two traditional views popular today: the substitutionary atonement theory (e.g. Anselm), and the identification theory (e.g. like Abelard). (Christus Victor is closely related to the former; think Narnia.) These are traditional conservative and liberal understandings, respectively. Volf likes the term inclusive substitution; Christ performs a substitutionary act in which we are present with him at the cross. (echo of Paul: "I have been crucified w/ Christ") In an important sense, the violence rendered to Christ was rendered to us as well. In some sense, therefore, we do identify with Christ, although it is not a mere identification. (Complicated idea, I know. What do you expect from atonement theories?)

9. Chew on this: God takes the anger of God onto God.

10. The church has an important role in His plan for the world's redemption. Yet the Gospel remains above the church--thankfully, considering the number of times the church has failed the Gospel in our history. Volf states (and I share this sentiment) that his experience with the church would not lead to a faith in God; it is his confrontation with the Gospel that has resulted in faith.

We also had "breakout" groups during the conference; mine discussed social justice, Volf, and emergent. I have some thoughts from that convo, but I'll save them for later.

sick.

2006-02-11T10:15:00.000-08:00

So the doctor says I have a colon infection. How exciting is that?

As a result, I haven't really been myself since I've gotten home. (I felt great, thankfully, during the trip, just bad before and after.) I'm on antibiotics and I'm going to try and go to the beach tonight w/ some of the Fullerites. Prayers are appeciated.

Attempts to define "emergent."

2006-02-09T11:34:00.000-08:00

During the conference I had more than a few conversations that went something like this:

Josh: "There is a lot of confusion today in the church about what 'emergent' is. "

Random emergent guy: "Well, I guess that includes me, too."

(This was quickly followed by Josh simutaneously experiencing both a sense of confused ignorance and of warm identification.)

To highlight this, Wikipedia (which is a wonderful resource that I am only partially familiar with)has put a cleanup tag on the "emerging church" article. The article's too "messy." Go figure.

Take a look at some of the editorial comments-- just to be amused, or perhaps to help clean the article up.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Emerging_Church

Back from the Volf conference.

2006-02-08T23:29:00.000-08:00

So I'm posting again... I just got back from the emergent conference, feeling very "emergent," although quite tired and having a barrel-full of work to do. To quickly sum, here are some convictions I've come to from this week:

1) New York City is an amazing phenomenon and landmark of American history. And it's just stinkin' cool. I found my great-g'father's manuscript from when he got off the boat at Ellis Island, I looked up the Statue of Liberty's dress, I visited St. Paul's Chapel, Washington's pew, the WTC site, Times Square, saw the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, watched the Super Bowl in Greenwich.... all great fun.

2) My blog sucks and needs pictures. And postings, for that matter.

3) I am a selfish American bastard who is very thankful that God is patient with him.

4) Miroslav Volf has more intellect in his snot-rockets than most of us...yet he still manages to be incredibly humble and to have a generous spirit.

5) There are amazing people doing amazing things in churches and leadership boards around the country...which I would do well to remember when I'm about ready to cast American churches into Gehenna.

6) Going on long trips without my CDs is a bad idea.

7) It will take a long time before I am able to process this week fully. Hopefully getting into the blog conversation with others from the conference will help.

And in that vein, I plan to start posting more regularly... so more to come soon.

Mammon!

2005-12-14T11:16:00.000-08:00

I'm taking (finally) a class by Marianne Meye Thompson this upcoming winter--a class on the Gospels. She posted the following on her webpage:

http://www.fuller.edu/sot/faculty/thompson_marianne/cp_content/homepage/mammon.pdf

My day getting caught up on the blog world.

2005-12-07T10:42:00.000-08:00

I'm not really good at this blogging thing, as noted by the frequency of my posts. But after spending the day yesterday with Emergent guru and urban ministry extraordinaire Rudy Carrasco (if he read that characterization, he would likely wince a little) I have become inspired to read up. Actually, I've been stalling from getting my classwork done. I'm convinced the "blog-world" wouldn't exist if it wasn't for college and grad students procrastinating on their papers and projects.

I really enjoyed my time with Rudy. Always cool to meet leaders who are honest with themselves and others. And the work going down at Harambee in Pasadena is first-rate incarnational ministry and discipleship. I'm excited to see where my community goes as a result of their work. It'll also be cool to see him again in Yale in February, since he's also planning to see Miroslav Volf and company at the Emergent Conversation.

So, check out Rudy's blog at http://urbanonramps.com/ ...his page has more links than a sausage factory, so this can keep you busy... ya know, if you have a paper due or something.

He posted yesterday on an article regarding evolution, creation, and theistic evolutionary theories . A good synopsis of the current debate. I particularly enjoyed the quote by St. Augustine at the very end of the article:

"'If we come to read anything in Holy Scripture,' he wrote 16 centuries ago, 'that is in keeping with the faith in which we are steeped, capable of several meanings, we must not by obstinately rushing in, so commit ourselves to any one of them that, when perhaps the truth is more thoroughly investigated, it rightly falls to the ground and we with it.'"

See? Even Augustine was postmodern!

(Btw... why is it so hard for people to admit that they don't understanding everything? Seems to me that if God were God, there might be some things which He understands that we are not meant to understand, or at least are incapable of grasping. Why do we have a need to control God, packaging Him in such a way so as to confine Him to our own limited understandings? This is surely reductionism at its most insidious. To fundies I say, Let God be free, damnit. Let him bowl you over with His radical love and grace. Let him confront you in the dark corners of your heart which you have felt comfortable in distinguishing from your life of faith.

Augh. This point has been run into the dirt by others already. I digress.)

I also found on Emergent Village an article which gives a great summary of "neo-evangelicalism" or "progressive evangelicalism" or whatever you want to call it. This is a simple description of the shifting of views taking place in the church and in seminaries in the US. If if resonates with you, congratulations. You're well on your way to becoming labeled as a flaming liberal by ill-informed people.

This is more rambling than anything else. I guess that means I'm becoming a dime-a-dozen, crazy, hot-headed emergent blogger.

Or, I'm just really not wanting to do my homework.

Harambe! Wal-Mart! Accountability!

2005-11-18T23:16:00.000-08:00

Hey, I'm back! I didn't die, actually. Close... I've been at seminary. (j/k). So the last few months have been nuts, and Sam and Kevin stopped harassing me to post again (they figured out that I was too lazy for their pleas to have an effect) and I've been pretty much AWOL from the Internet in general since I don't have a connection directly to my computer anymore (I'm now using my roommate's laptop). Not to mention that I briefly considered this week defecting to myspace after "discovering" this phenomenon for myself, for the first time. I knew it was big; I guess I didn't realize how many people I knew were on it. I may defect eventually; as of now I don't care enough to do so. A cancelled trip to Mexico, as part of a project for my "incarnation and mission" class (not completely cancelled, we're leaving tomorrow at noon instead of earlier tonight), gave me the opportunity to finally post again, surely much to the delight of all. Tomorrow a group of friends and I will head to Tijuana and play with chicken-pox-infected orphans for a solid day. I couldn't imagine a better use of my time. Seriously.

There have been lots of themes the past few weeks-- the latest one being capitalism. In the last few years I've gone from being an implicit supporter of free-market capitalism (although I suppose all of us, regardless of where we stand, are implicit supporters by virtue of our patronage and received benefits of the capitalist system) to believing that capitalism itself is inherenly evil and is beyond the will of God, and that while we shouldn't go forming separate societies or calling for a deposing of our government in favor of communism, I thought that Christians need to be taking the idea of shared resources as portrayed by the early church (see Acts 2) more seriously.

This week I think I'm coming to a more balanced perspective on capitalism, or as Rudy Gallescos (spelling of last name??!!), who works for the Harambe Center here in Pasadena and has been a national advisor and advocate for issues considering urban poverty (and, I might add, would fit in well at any emergent event you could think of) said, "Capitalism is merely in sync with the theological concept of ex nihilo." (Referencing Barth and company? Now you have my attention.) He believes, as a Latin-American male who has worked with and among urban poor for over two decades, that seeing capitalism as bad is only half the story; captialism has the ability to empower people, to show people that they have the capability to create a living for themselves, to give definition to one's own self-perception, as created in the image of God (it's difficult to stay hopeful amidst desperate conditions if you do not believe that there is indeed a way out, that isn't dependent on what someone can give you. Capitalism, when properly applied, provides the opportunity for economic hope, which in turn provides education, food, health care, and ultimately dignity.). Rudy likes the words from one of Bush's speeches referencing "the soft bigotry of low expectations." Can we hold the poor to a high standard? Rudy admits this is difficult, especially for the kind of the people he was lecturing to on Monday, namely, people who were primarily of Anglo-American descent, who have largely come from affluent backgrounds. Yet there must be a standard up to which the poor must rise, he said. True empowerment is not found in handouts and cash; it is found with increased accountability. Using the system as an excuse for one's misfortunes often becomes another form of racism or bigotry in itself, keeping the poor outside of the range of self-sufficiency and making them increasingly dependent.

It's difficult to argue with a man with such experience with working with the poor, from a minority perspective. Especially since my accumulated knowledge of economic theory is distressingly sparse. (He recommended a book called "The Mystery of Capital" by De Soto. I haven't read it, but I plan to. Y'all should check it out, too, and lemme know your thoughts.) Keep in mind that he was defending capitalism to a room full of people that he knew, when they heard the very word "capitalism" they instantly conjured up pictures in their mind of guys in black suits and ties with little horns coming out of their heads and dollar signs for eyeballs and rolling around in greenbacks like a pig in the mud. This included myself. Yet he was merely attempting to present another side to an issue that is mainly polarized into "good" and "evil" categories to a particular audience (I imagine that if he was speaking at Liberty University he would have sounded like a flaming liberal!) Because of this, I found his honesty and bluntness refreshing and hopeful, even though I don't think I can share his views completely. (Maybe. I dunno. )

This is where I am right now: Capitalism is not inherently evil. It's not an evil structure in and of itself. It has immense power. This power can be harnassed for much good, and also for much evil. The issue, for both the common people and for the management of MNC's and other businesses, is accountability: People in allowing their religious beliefs and morals to dictate their spending habits and financial activities (not separating the two worlds) and in believing that they have inherent worth in the eyes of God and in that finding the strength to use the gifts that they've been given; MNC's in creating jobs and opportunities for all people and families in their community, and to submit to necessary regulation and control by the government. My theological response is this: Human beings are created in the likeness of God, but for some reason also we all have this tendency to do selfish and bad things, which the church calls sin. This tendency we can't get away from, whether we like it or not. Furthermore, when a bunch of humans get together for the sake of self-promotion, evil can become systemic and compounded, and can create oppressive situations such as poverty, despair and dysfunction for those who are left in the wake of such a group's greed. This must be controlled somehow. Unrestricted capitalism is not the epitome of the American dream. There is, as the Bible teaches, such thing as "too much of a good thing;" especially when it comes at the expense of others. Christians, however, have been transformed and renewed in their sin by the Holy Spirit. Even though we haven't lost that tendency completely, when we join together as a group, somehow the image of God, in which we were all created individually, becomes better defined (assuming that the Holy Spirit is being actively discerned.) The church-the communally-incarnated body of Christ, therefore, should be at the forefront at insisting accountability for both the poor and the rich, petitioning the Christians within each group to take heed of the call of the Spirit.

In closing, I watched the Wal-Mart documentary tonight. (It's not so much a documentary as an all-out frontal assault on the world's largest MNC. Quick SAT analogy: "Farenheit 9-11" is to W what "The High Cost of Low Price" is to W-M.) Propoganda? Absolutely. Biased? Quite. Inaccurate? Perhaps in parts. Important? You betcha. Go get a copy. http://www.walmartmovie.com
This is no two-bit indie-doc; this is quality stuff. I don't doubt its one-sidedness in the least, but it's real hard to argue with the numbers (over half of Wal-Mart employee's children are on government assistance??!- gt www.ourfuture.org and petition your government officials to change this!) and the plethora of personal testimonies that the movie boasts. We demand accountability to our governments because they are powerful and have the ability to dominate, which we all believe is against human freedom. This is why we have democracy, and checks and balances. Wal-Mart has an annual net revenue that exceeds the combined GNP of many nations, and has the lives of millions of employees worldwide in its pocket--so why is it seemingly "Un-American" to demand regulation? Why do conservatives give more credit (and freedom) to our business leaders than our leaders of government? I'm not asking for Wal-Mart to perish (that would cause even more job loss and eventual poverty at this point), merely to be held accountable in being ethical about its business practices, and not being allowed to have a free pass anymore. Christians should and must take front-row seats in this "calling-out".

Now, I'm out.

irony!

2005-09-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted in a long while. It's been a busy couple of weeks... the new quarter just started and I am now immersed in learning exegetical methods and Hebrew, and in another class which regards how Jesus sees and ministers to the poor. Exciting stuff.

Here's a NY times link to check out in the wake of hurricane madness and the political aftermath:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/27/business/27econ-new.html?th=&adxnnl=1&emc=th&adxnnlx=1128016932-/0pmW3VmJLr9y9iZ7Nwyww

Ironic how Bush is now "forced" to tap into oil reserves and loosen (presumably environmental) regulations on oil production because of the strain caused by hurricanes, which was caused by global warming, which was contributed to by... increased oil consumption and production. Though I'll give the man credit for at least calling for conservation of gas. It's a step forward from past positions.

And, I'm out.

Kyle's experiences with Katrina victims.

2005-09-06T20:23:00.000-07:00

My good friend Kyle from back at A&M, who is a campus minister with my old student group (the United Campus Ministry) and is an ordained PCUSA pastor, had some amazing experiences to share w/ me on the phone the other day regarding what Texas A&M is doing for hurricane victims. So I asked him to type something up for me... since this isn't the kind of stuff you'll be reading about on the news, yet we need to be hearing. And, it gives me a good reason to be proud of where I went to school (except maybe not President Gates....putz.) So, here ya go:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Howdy from Texas!

Josh offered to let me use this forum to post some musings about my experience doing pastoral care with those sheltered in Reed Arena in College Station, Texas.

Just to give you a little orientation...bread appears on my table by virtue of my ministry with college students at Texas A&M University. I've never been much on limiting ministry to job descriptions so I go where called and try to cover the job description in the meantime.

One such call came Sunday from a member of the cadet corps here at A&M. They were running a shelter for victims of Katrina. They arrive at midnight Sat. night and by Sun morning were demanding to know where their loved ones were. These folks traveled 18 hours from full shelter to full shelter.

I met a young couple right off who were separated from their 1 year old daughter. We carefully read the morgue listings as well as the shelter listing. Her name appeared nowhere. Her mother's blood pressure had risen so high that she was in severe danger and needed her BP medication.

They got their good news that their daughter was found alive at the Astrodome in Houston. We prayed and prayed and I listened to stories about their lives as this couple was very happy they were here and all safe.

Never have I been so proud of this university. The cadets were running this with love and concern. General Van Alstyne is awesome! He has been there 24 hours a day seeing to it that this shelter is run well. God's grace has been embodied in a state institution of higher education. This university is doing more than any church anywhere around. Where do I think Jesus is? Yes, at Texas A&M University. To see the look on an elderly woman's face when a young cadet says "Howdy ma'am, may I carry those bags for you?" She hasn't heard that kind of concern for her in her week of horror.

I also saw pictures on camera phones that are unbelievable. Yes, white rushing water cascading through the streets, carrying semi-trucks, lifting cars, small portable buildings, etc. These people have slept on their pitched roof for 2-3 days. Ever tried to sleep at a 45 degree angle with rushing water at your feet so if you roll off you are washed away?

Heroic tales of people getting boats with holes in it and having one person bale out water fast enough to keep the boat floating while they ferry people out of harms way.

My first day closed in euphoria. These people felt God had blessed them with our efforts. Who wouldn't go home charged up after that? God's grace was easy to feel and these good good people seemed to be getting on their feet.

Tragic tales came quickly. A mother tells me, while her daughter sits next to her, that a man was shot in the head by national guard before the man could get her daughter's clothes off to rape her. A man tells of losing grip of his nephew who was in the water outside his boat trying to crawl in. Stories of seeing bodies, and bodies, and bodies...all ages...and tales of multiple bodies with gunshots to the head.

These people are traumatized. They are hurt. People who don't pray, will pray with me now...because they figure anything is good enough to try. Jesus for them is not a doctrine, an invisible friend to believe in, or someone who makes empty promises of faith rewarded by prosperity. Jesus is water, food, a shower, reunion with family, and a safe, good night's sleep.

I have cried to have them tell me to my pained, resistent ears that I represent Jesus because we have provided food, clothing, shelter, and safety.

I have cried to hear that these people love Jesus Christ in the face of the largest disaster in U.S. history, amidst racist presumptions by the media, abandonment by their police and government, and being ignored by their President and Congress until it was too late for the estimated 10,000 death toll.

People are being reunited with their families. They are getting jobs. We moved several people out today because they have found a place to live and maybe a job lead.

Still there is a dark reality. Today I carry home a list of names of relatives not found. I am the one who, while they are in shelters, can look on TV, newspaper, internet lists of dead and lists of shelters....Lord, help me to find just one,Lord....just one. "Please help me look for my husband and my son" is the one that is the most painful to hear and it rings in my ears...ringing,ringing,ringing.

That couple I mentioned at the beginning? He hit her last night. The police officer told me that she egged it on. He watched it. History of mental illness. He will end up in jail. She will end up at a mental hospital potentially. I told the office,"Please let me talk and pray with them"..."Okay he says"...I approach...they are different people. They do not want me around right now they say. They are ashamed. I grab their hands and tell them God loves them. I fear for them when they still have not reunited with their daughter. What life lies ahead for this young one?

God of Grace and Glory...Why does your grace have to be mixed with so much pain? Why does your glory have to be mixed with so much shame? Why does your Easter demand a Good Friday? Why does love felt in this frail heart of mine get called forth for people only when tragedy is real and present? I know today that I love these people...I love them not because they love you...or because they are lovable or because they need it in pity. I love them because I know that they deserve your love more than I do. They deserve it more than anyone else I know. They deserve it because Matthew 25 is probably the most true piece of your Word I can think of right now.

It is easy for me to live Matthew 25 now. It is on our minds. Who of us will remember that verse 3 mos from now when these New Orleans folks show up in a homesless shelter not having found a job yet? Will we remember to keep giving financially when it is no longer popular? If so, we are blessed by you. If not, we are most to be pitied for our eternity is set.

Found out today that A&M will end this shelter on friday because we have to have an "engineering fair" next week...and first yell next weekend. I was furious. I told the General, "how can we let these people exit here without a place to go" He tells me that he "won't let that happen"...I find out from a secondary source that the President of the university is saying it should end friday. General Van Alstyne is fighting to keep it open until the job is done. I don't know about you, but I'm standing behind the 3 star General. God bless him.

Don't go to Africa.

2005-09-05T21:58:00.000-07:00

This Labor Day, I spent much of the day laboring... on a systematic theology take-home final exam. Yippee.

But I did take a study break... I went to see the Constant Gardener. It was great.

And I just have one piece of advice for everyone. Don't go to Africa. Not even for a measley 5 weeks. It messes you up, long after you've come back. It rips your heart out of your chest and plants it in the Kenyan Highlands. You'll find yourself loving people who can't offer you anything in return, and loving a land that's not your own. That's not normal; that's just crazy.

You'll never be able to eat food the same way again. You can't drive by big corporate buildings without thinking about worldwide injustices. You'll catch yourself feeling guilty about things that you never thought twice about before, like the things you throw away that someone in Lusaka would rummage for hours through garbage just to find such a treasure. Save yourself the remorse and heartache.

Oh, and you won't be able to watch movies about how MNC's screw Africa anymore. Because then you'll take it personally.

Okay, consider yourself warned. Back to "structures of existence" and "original sin" for me.

Thoughts about Katrina and sin and stuff.

2005-09-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

I don't claim any kind of prophetic abilities here when I say that I was overwhelmed Sunday night, the night before Katrina made landfall, with feelings of guilt, foreboding, and anguish regarding what was about to happen to the people there. That was proven the next morning, when I saw the news report that Katrina had been downgraded, and even when the following day came with pictures of destroyed buildings and roads, yet I felt a false sense of relief from it all, knowing that things could have been much worse (had Katrina hit full strength, with a more direct hit on NO.)... Of course the disaster that Katrina had caused was only the beginning of the story as the floodwaters have rose, and as the week has progressed it has become clear that this is becoming perhaps one of the most catastrophic events in the history of the United States. Meanwhile in SoCal, life continues as normal for most of us, ambivalent to the events just a few thousand miles down I-10....

Last night, I talked to Kyle back home about all of this, and how he is (as well as I am) frustrated:

-with the utter lack of government support and the inane comments by people like Dennis Hastert in the aftermath... ( http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050902/ap_on_go_co/katrina_hastert_hk1_5 ...reminds me of Mugabe, who actually did what Haskert proposed, both to cities that didn't vote for their party. Maybe that's why we don't go into Zimbabwe... they think like us.)

-and with the Bush administration's slashing of funding that was designed to help save the city from impending disaster many years previous... ( http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20050901.wsciam0901/BNStory/Front ...as much as I understand the rising water to be a problem for landing helicopters, I dont' understand why we can't drop supplies, like we do in other parts of the world when disaster strikes.)

After our conversation I got to talking with some seminary friends, who were over at our community playing cards. They all shared my sympathy, although not all were keeping up with the events in N.O. Somehow we got on the topic of sin, and how there are many people (mostly Internet religious-right swamis, likely) making comments like "this is God's judgment on a sinful and perverted city" or something to that effect. While none in the group agreed with this assessment at all, three of them claimed, "That is ridiculous propoganda," while the 4th in the group said, "Well, we don't know what God's plans were. After all, He 'judged the land' on many occasions in the Bible. The point for us is to hear and respond to their suffering regardless." This didn't make the other participants at the table very happy.

While I couldn't wholly disagree with his assessment, I found it quite unsatisfying as a way to explain this disaster. I think that asking, "Was God judging New Orleans?" is absolutely the wrong question to be asking in the first place! I have a Christological point to make in this regard. While I am no Dispensationalist, I do believe that after the resurrection, Jesus ascended into heaven, in the flesh, and sits on the right hand of the Father, having been given all authority and power in heaven and on earth. This is the same Jesus who walked and lived and sympathized with the poor, many of whom were plagued with sin, and the same Jesus who condemned the powerful and rich rulers, who were sinners also (in a deeper, though seemingly less obvious sense) and yet condemned the poor as having deserved their position thanks to their sinfulness. While God has always identified with the poor, Jesus experienced their misery and suffering first-hand, and at the cross He felt the full weight of human suffering. It is how Christ is able to say, "What you have done for the least of these, you have done to me"--in the spectrum of human existence, this is where Christ identifies Himself, and as such it is where we are called to be identified, and to identify with others. This is the Jesus who now sits in judgment over humanity; the God who looks at how we treat each other, how we conduct ourselves in public and private, how we pray and cry out for mercy, and how we ignore the work of His Kingdom. He has full authority; not the law, or our sacrifices, our church attendance, or our weekly tithes (if people still tithe in this country) or our ability to influence others will be what saves us. It's Jesus who holds the fate of each one of us... and for some of us (the "least," who are the greatest in the kingdom) that is a comfort, but for most of us it should likely be considered as a warning...b/c even as a Christian, I find myself identifying all too often more with the Pharisees than with the poor.

In light of this understanding, we should be extremely suspicious of anyone claiming God's wrathful judgment on a city filled with sin... especially since it is the poor and needy, who are no strangers to suffering and neglect and exclusion from the rest of society, who likely spend a whole lot more time trying to make ends meet than partying it up on Bourbon Street, who are the majority of victims in this disaster. The partiers and college students in large part escaped the storm (or at least the horrors that followed it.) Most of the people who had cars escaped; many who did not leave town could not afford a car, or did not own one, and that's why they stayed.

We should wonder why such proposals never come from the same side as the suffering. That's called confession, for anyone who was wondering. We don't do much of that anymore, although the church used to think it was pretty important. As highly unlikely as it seems for sin to be the reason for Katrina to leave a million people homeless--if the call to repent came from within the levee walls, we would probably greatly sympathize with this, despite the fact of whether we agreed or not. But unfortunately, these calls for repentance come from ivory towers, from those who watch the horror below them and thank God that they are "not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get to the Republican party." (Luke 18:11-12) Then they turn their TVs back over to Desperate Housewives and hope no one catches them.

The question "Is God judging New Orleans?" is wrong. The question should be, "How will Christ judge me, if I sit idle by this disaster and do nothing?"

More on Katrina.

2005-09-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

Katrina apparantly has or soon will be topping Andrew as the costliest natural disasater in US history, and may perhaps be one of the deadliest in recent history. This article made me cringe:

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/national/AP-Hurricane-Katrina.html?hp&ex=1125633600&en=ac444ff206b4e17b&ei=5094&partner=homepage

I'm just glad that Texas has opened its borders.

Prayers for Katrina victims.

2005-08-31T07:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't read the news today... so I dunno if the death toll has gone up any... I saw it at 50+ yesterday, and that Katrina made landfall as a Cat 4 in Mississippi. Praises to God that Sara's family is ok, acc. to her away message... even though their family's house is ruined.

Please pray for families who have lost people in the storm and/or have become homeless because of it.

2005-08-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't post this weekend as promised. Sorry for lying. I've realized that at least a few random souls are looking at my posts now, even though I've said jack squat and haven't really told anyone yet that I have a blog. So, apologies for letting the faithful few down.

I'm reading Exclusion and Embrace by Miroslav Volf. Only 100 pgs. in, and I can't seem to read it fast like I need to, b/c it keeps convicting me and making me think. (I had a similar reaction to Cost of Discipleship, even though the foci of each book is pretty different.) Kevin told me this is his favorite book of all time... and he's read quite a few books in his day. I'm digging on it, but it hurts right now.

It hurts b/c I've only read the part about "exclusion" so far... and judging from the fact that Volf wrote it back in the mid 90's, pre-9-11 (while he was still teaching at Fuller, he's now at Yale), I'm finding it to be quite prophetic. The problem is, the exclusion bred into our culture has not subsided at all since that tragedy; it seems to be getting stronger. It is indeed interesting that as the " cultured West" we continually preach the gospel of egalitarianism and full equality for all; yet we probably have just as much of a defined sense of the "other" than the countries which we refer to as "savage," such as Rwanda or Bosnia in recent history. What's worse is that use our banners of equality to hide the fact that we are exclusionists. The simple remedy that many Americans likely believe is the answer to Iraq's problems? The same as the one that our government upholds... make 'em like us. Yet this is no less a form of exclusion; we allow no room for the "other" to exist when we simply assimilate them into ourselves and our own ideologies.

So, last night I was pretty broken about my own willing participation (through my complaceny and silence) in this exclusion. About my contribution to the structures and powers that serve to hold people down. The "other" is produced by these structures, and we are not void of these victims in the US, and especially not here in the San Gabriel Valley. I watched a presentation on foster children yesterday at Lake Avenue Church, for a "rallying of the troops" meeting to run a 1-week camp for 50 foster children in the Pasadena area by this time next year. I kept having flashbacks to some of my old campers from T Bar M... and to the children I met in Africa this summer... and I thought a lot about the 4 former-foster children that live in my community, who I've grown to love. I also thought about a presentation I saw in-class last spring regarding the LA foster care system-- and how terrible it really is. I got angry and confused and depressed... and convicted... all at the same time by watching this presentation.

And as I write this, a hurricane is tearing apart New Orleans. I remember living on the Gulf Coast; 10 years ago Hurricane Opal did to our part of the Florida Panhandle what Katrina is doing to NO (although Katrina is a tad stronger, and NO is below sea level, which makes it a much higher threat.) As I watched the news in a coffee shop yesterday afternoon, Katrina was Cat 5 and had gusts up to 200. I was convinced that by Monday evening NO wouldn't exist anymore... and had it stayed that strong, that may have been the case. I went to church last night at Warehouse feeling empty and guilty... singing to God, asking to be "filled" and inspired...meanwhile hundreds of people await their likely death, and thousands of homes are waiting to be destroyed? But of course, it was no different than any other night in that respect... Niger, Zimbabwe, Iraq... all the death going on there didn't go away when I stopped watching/reading the news that morning! Having just seen African poverty with my own eyes just weeks before, it had been frequently out of my mind, meanwhile I spent money and bought needless groceries and listened to my music and analyzed my finances... and somehow I felt like part of the exclusion all at once last night.

So I cried a lot. And wrote a song (which I hadn't been able to do in 6 months). And I felt really lonely and prayed all night for NO, and for Sara's family (my friend from A&M, whose family is stuck in NO thanks to traffic and already have rising water in their house.) It's all that I knew to do. So I was quite thankful to God in the morning when I heard that Katrina was downgraded to a Cat 3, just like Opal had been downgraded 10 years ago just as we hit the flood of interstate traffic during evacuation. Even now, my mom's cries of gratitude to God in our car that night repeat themselves in my head...I confess to God for calling Him "distant" and getting so pissed off at Him last night...

Anywho, this is all quite difficult for most to understand, I'm sure... but I hope that perhaps some of this rang a chord. If not, sorry for straining your eyes for this long.

It's not over for NO now by any means; the city will likely sustain numerous casualties and destruction. So continue to pray for them, even beyond the passing of the storm as they attempt to salvage what's left.

And, I have many more thoughts regarding the Volf book... and I haven't even read the happy part yet. (There's always a happy part; that's the cool thing about studying theology.) So more to come in that respect, whether you like it or not.

Off to somehow gather my scattered thoughts so I can start my papers. God Bless.

Random, procovative Iraq war dialogue.

2005-08-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

Again, too busy to write anything.

But not too busy to read random things on the Web, apparently.

At any rate, the BBC did a survey regarding what people thought about the inevitability of civil war in Iraq; the selection contains a wide swath of differing views:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/4700577.stm

Cool thing about the BBC-- they have readers from all over the world...including Iraq.

Lates.

The Obligatory Preliminary Jibber jabber.

2005-08-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

I resisted long enough.

So I thought I'd be the only guy in seminary (or Pasadena, for that matter) without a blog. I'm thinking that to not be the case anymore. I've been wanting to start a journal or free-write exercise on my computer... but I didn't have any motivation to do so. Knowing other people can read this stuff, though, creates a little incentive, b/c I like to share ideas. And certainly ideas and opinions formed in a box are not as complete as those that are allowed to be influenced and shaped by others. Such dialogue has been extremely formative for my studies so far, and this might be just one more avenue in which to develop these ideas. Also, I want to write books someday, so it'd be a good idea to practice writing (even though I have 50+ pages of writing due over the next few weeks... ugh.)

I'm not sure if I'm gonna tell anyone quite yet about this. That would mean I would have to stick with it, and I'm not so sure I'm ready to commit yet. (yes, this is an ongoing pattern in my life. Thanks for the reminder.)

I will spare the Internet community with a monologue of my origins and such. If you wanna know, I'll tell you, but most people that will read this, if any, will be those who know me. The profile's good enough for now. Although, I hope people from elsewhere feel compelled to respond, Christians and non-Christians (I figure I will probably offend both in equal measure anyway), guys and gals, and those from different ethnic and social contexts... b/c I need to learn from y'all (I do use my one "Texasism" with frequency, sorry.) and to stretch beyond my own context.

So, there's the obligatory introduction to my blog. I am officially in the cool kids club. Now I'm gonna go study like a good boy.

hey

2005-03-22T11:46:00.000-08:00

Hey look at me ! I have a blog. Does this make me cool now?